become more confident

I think this has gone downward slightly. I don’t have a job anymore, and I guess since I’m interacting with people less, I feel less like being around them. I don’t even like going shopping most of the time. Actually I think the main reason is my friend Caroline. She makes me feel like I’m not myself, and I think I really need to get away from her because if I’m not myself, I just don’t feel good.
When I haven’t seen her in a while though, I feel really good about myself, like better than even before I met her. I suppose that is good news, because that means that things will get better when I’m not with her.
I just hung out with her yesterday and today, and we have plans for tomorrow, and I just don’t want to. I never initiate anything, but I don’t say no either. Tomorrow I will make sure to not make any more plans. Refusing from the start is easier than cancelling. I can’t wait to go to France and just get away from everything.

I’ve done a lot of this in the past couple years, but I don’t know that I will ever really complete this anytime soon. To me, becoming confident in yourself is about realizing and being happy with who you are. People are always changing and I just hope that when I become the person that I want to be, I like her. ;)