Okay, listen. I have some advice for you. You’re probably going to freak out when you hear what I have to say, but I want you to pay attention. Here goes: lighten up on the birth control, get pregnant, and have a kid. I know! It sounds crazy. Your friends will tell you it’s crazy. But I’ve had a lot of years to think this through, and if we work together I know we can make a difference in how things turn out for us.
Right about now you’re thinking, “A freakin’ baby? With whom?” I’m here to tell you, that part isn’t terribly important. It can be that hippie dude who lives in his VW van, or that east coast boyfriend you had before moving to Seattle, or that cute guy who ladles the soup at the deli. You may find it hard to believe, but it really doesn’t matter. Because regardless of whether the guy wants to be involved, you already have an amazing family and incredibly supportive friends and they will help you. You are young and strong and lucky and you can do it.
Yes, it would cut into the time you currently spend going to rock shows hoping to bump into Eddie Vedder in the audience. That’s okay. Seriously. Guess what? Turns out Eddie grows up, has a family of his own, and lives in West Seattle. Your older-you friends will see him at the grocery store, and tell you they saw him in the produce aisle, and you will experience an amused thrill and a whiff of nostalgia but you will not go to said grocery store just to try to see him. You will be so, so over it.
Anyway. What I’m saying is that you’re going to do a tremendous amount of flailing in the next five years. You are a smart girl but right now you don’t know jack. That’s okay—it’s age-appropriate. But my thinking is that since you’re flailing already, why not add a baby to the mix? It might even help you focus. You could use some focus. The first three years would be tough, but that might force you to let your guard down and ask for help. (Side note: This would be a good thing for you. You should try it more often.)
You won’t chance upon a well-paying and influential job until you’re 30, and by that time the kid would be 5 and attending school, and you’d have a handle on the child-rearing thing. When you’re 35 you’d have a 10-year-old, which is totally reasonable, and then later you’d be this cool 40-year-old mom with a rockin’ 15 year-old. And even later, when you’re 45 (which is still quite young, I swear) your kid would be in college and you could continue with your wonderful life! See?
The best part of this plan is that if you put it into action now—right now—when you’re my age you won’t have the should-I-have-a-kid question hanging over your head, and your biological clock ticking like a time bomb. Believe me, it’s a lot harder to disrupt your life—especially with something on the scale of a kid—when you finally feel like you’ve got it pretty well figured out. So stop thinking ahead so much (I’m not sure if you’re capable of this, but at least start trying), and try being a little more impulsive. You might just learn something. Now, get out there and get knocked up!
Love,
Me
