bratmobile is doing 16 things including…

Stop cutting

3 cheers

 

bratmobile has written 2 entries about this goal

scars. 2 years ago

I hate it when people judge me ‘cause of my scars. I really wish people could realise that most of the people who cuts, doesn’t do it because they want to die, nor because of attention. How can someone judge me, even though they have never had that… itching feeling inside. How can they judge me when they never have been seized with anxiety to the point where you basically hurt youself just to feel better. When they never have felt like they can’t breath because of the panic attacks, and never felt how the guilt feelings and the shame eats you from the inside and out. In the long run, I cut myself because I want to feel better. Not because I want to die. Even though I might feel like that atm I cut.

Saurday night I went to a party, and accidentally someone saw the scars on my arm, I really try to hide them as much as possible. I wish I could say I’m not ashamed of them. But I am. And I don’t want people to judge me, ‘cause people do. And the person who saw them, she did. She gave me the whole emo-talk. you know blabalaa you’re only doing this for attention, you’re disgusting. If you really wanted to die you would commit suicide. “It’s down the road”, not “across the street” and etc blabla.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just walked away.



fdfjhjgkfjhd 2 years ago

I know very well why I cut myself. I cut myself because of anxiety, anger and grief. Lately I’ve been really trying to stop. I haven’t done it in a month (!) Instead I’ve been using rubber bands, and now I’ve loads of bruises all over my arms. That is so much better.. Atm I feel like getting a razorblade. The temptation is really strong, since I am so upset over something that just happened… I don’t know what to do, but I can’t cut. I just won’t let myself fall there again.. I can’t..



bratmobile has gotten 3 cheers on this goal.

 

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