what a rough month its been.. first my dad has a bad episode where he got in a fight with my step mom in front of my sister while he was drunk.. now my sister doesnt want to talk to my dad.. my step mom has moved out and my brother has told him that until he gets help he wants nothing to do with him… i’m the only one he has left.. it kinda sucks.. everyone leaves everything on my sholders, like i have to go in and pick up the pieces after they all leave.. i hate them all right now.. i dont want to be with him alone.. i feel so uncomfortable…. when he crys i want to tell him that his tears are wasted on me… i feel no pity for him because he brought this on himself.. i have cryed so many tears for him that i would never let him see because i knew that he loved himself more than he could ever love my brother, sister or i… my father is the most selfish man i have ever known… i cant deal with him, i dont want to .. its not my responsibility… i’m his child not his parent… he’s supposed to be there for me (which he’s never been) not me always being there for him… why cant i give up on him too?
most likely because i dont give up on anything… i have to see everything through… thats my place in this family… to put everything and everybody back together, where they belong when they have broken…. i just have one question….. who’s gonna pick me up when i fall? or will i forever be broken??