Be sugar-free!

We had a lunch at work yesterday—one of my problem areas is the food at work. For lunch they served (and I am not joking): hot dogs and chili; white lettuce salad with grape tomatoes, cheese, croutons and bottled dressing; cole slaw made with lots of mayo; potato chips; Chip Ahoy and Oreo cookies; 3 different kinds of brownies; root beer floats; sodas; and bottled water.

Thank God for the white lettuce salad, grape tomatoes, and bottled water.

I was good at lunch when every one was looking. I was also good later – when no one was looking. At 3 PM I went back upstairs to get another bottle of water. There was an entire plate of cookies and brownies left. I had none. I grabbed a few leftover grape tomatoes and a bottle of water and I was happy as a clam.

When I can look at Chips Ahoy cookies and think of them as I do… say concrete blocks, then I’ll call this goal done.

This process has taken me much longer than I expected. After one year of working on it, I am to the point of looking at a plate of cookies and being very happy with a bottle of water instead. I am at least making progress.

b.

I have not had sugar since June. But I am still looking for it. I still want to root around in the kitchen at 10 Pm and see what I can find… the good news: there is nothing in my kitchen to find. I end up having a bottle of water instead.

I ate some grapes last week. I hadn’t had sugar in so long they tasted so sweet to me it made my jaws hurt.

When I get to the point to where I am not looking for sugar anymore I’ll call this goal done. I am doing well. But the addiction will take me a while longer to get over. I am looking forward to that day.

I was thinking maybe I could I desensitized myself: I’d teach my brain to react negatively when my eyes saw dessert-like things.

I am thinking of putting pictures of really bad for you foods on the bathroom mirror, with big signs on them: TRANS FAT. EMPTY CALORIES. DON’T FEED FAT – LIVE LEAN! YUCK YUCK YUCK. MONO-DIGLICERITES??? HOW TASTY IS THAT? All kinds of mind control sayings.

Then maybe in a couple of weeks put up pictures of some lucious fruits and veggies and signs with sayings like, “Long live brocolli – long live you.” “Beta-Carrot-tene” “Peaches – mmmmmmmmmm!!!! Apples – Yummy Yum Yum Yum!!!!!” “El Yummo!”

I think I would figure out in a few days whether the negative ad campaign was working the wrong way – i.e. making me crave fudge or cake. (Maybe I won’t put up photos of chocolate until I see how this works.) If it is influencing me negatively, I’d pull the photos PDQ and just put up the photos of fruits and veggies.

Now on to this weeks report. Take three deep breaths and if you are having a bad day – just know I did ok and you don’t have to read on from here. It has been rough, but we survived and are moving on from here.

OK. Deep breath. My sister had to go to the emergency room Wednesday night. She was suicidal. Friday afternoon they told us they think her diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia. She is an artist and has been different all her life. She has fought depression most of her life and I have urged her for years to seek help – it is more.

So when we were told this news, I had a Coke on Friday. It was a very intentional Coke. I was very upset. I know drinking a Coke and taking two Tylenol will calm me down just a little bit, so that is what I did. Later I did 5 minutes of measured breathing: Inhale on the count of 4, hold it for 4, exhale to the count of 4, hold for 4… etc. There was also a massage chair in the center’s waiting room. I sat in it for 3-4 minutes and stared out the windows at some trees. I think staring at the trees helped me more than anything. I wasn’t completely even-keel when I got through my 10 minutes of stress reduction, but I was at least functioning again.

Friday night, after we had left my sister at the center. I did not have ice cream. I did not have a bag of potato chips. I went to the grocery store and bought a roast chicken and salad makings for supper, serveral bottles of mineral water, sugar snap peas, fresh asparagus, 2 bags of apples…. I even looked at muffins and donuts – told myself this was an exception – I could have them if I wanted. I did not. I wanted good things to eat. I think I have retrained myself.

But I did get an emergency bar of dark chocolate. If I need it I am going to eat it. I quit smoking a year and a month ago. The way I did it, among other things, was reward myself with a bar of dark chocolate every Wednesday. If I need it now – to get through this crisis, I am going to eat a bar of dark chocolate. I am not going to worry about it. And I have it in my possession if I need it.

On a lighter note, I was trying to make it through Easter without candy. I almost was successful. I had 4 jelly beans and 2 small, chocolate eggs – the kind that are the size of a Hersheys Kiss. SO I did want to make it through Easter candy free, and I failed – but I didn’t fail too badly.

I realize I have gotten tense again just telling the tale of my Friday afternoon. Please say a prayer for my sister. Thank you. I am going swimming at 5PM and am going home to walk the dog and cats, and have some more roast chicken and salad for supper. Then I am going to cook some of my healthy meatloaf for tomorrows lunch. It always makes me feel better to cook something.

Thank you very much for listening. There are many sick people in need in the world. My sister has good care and a family that loves her. She is in a place where she can get help now. That knowledge and good friends are a comfort to me. Thank you again for listening.

There has been a bag of Krispy Kreme donuts beside the coffee maker for the last 3 days. I have not touched them. There was a pound cake there Monday—I passed it by. But I lusted after the Krispy Kremes.

I realized the craving was just a knee-jerk reaction to the visual. I saw something sugary and I jumped and immediately without thinking said, “Yum!”—instead of “Trans fats, sugar, calories, no nutrients, a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips….” Luckily my brain took over and stopped my hand before I reached for one.

I might make a diet exception for a fresh Krispy Kreme donut at the Krispy Kreme store – luckily the closest shop is 30 miles away…. But this was powder sugar cake donuts in a bag from the grocery store. It is totally not sacreligious to pass them up.

There is a reception at work this afternoon. The parties are the hardest times for me. But I will be strong. I am going to go into it saying “BE AWARE—BE READY.” It is much easier to avoid/prevent a craving than it is to fight one off after it hits. If I go in prepared, I won’t have battles with the sugar demons.

Thanks for listening.

I have lost 15 pounds. I am eating whole foods – not prepackaged things. I am eating pretty much all I want of anything – as long as it is something that is pretty close to the way God made it. Like, I can have 2 apples – but I probably shouldn’t have 2 glasses of apple juice.

I am eating lots of vegetables, whole grain breads and cereals, lean meats and fish, fresh fruit, skim milk, cheese (in moderation), plain yogurt, salads and nuts. Salad dressing, Smart Beat margarine, canola and olive oils are part of my diet too. I am eating no-trans-fat popcorn, unsalted pretzels, corn chips, homemade Chex Mix, raw almonds, walnuts, or pecans when I feel like I need a snack. I am having a couple of beers a week. Good beer – micro-brewery beer. (Lots of flavoisonoidazones to keep the gut-flora happy! ;-)

Previous to March 1 (when I started this goal), I was exercising and not eating hardly anything at all – yet I wasn’t losing weight. I didn’t eat a lot of sugar, but I had a few cookies a week, 1-2 sodas, maybe jam on toast on weekends, fruited or vanilla yogurt 3-4 times a week, and usually a cup of tea in the afternoon with 1 teaspoon of sugar in it. I didn’t eat cakes, candy or desserts. (I am allergic to eggs – most desserts are made with eggs.) Then, March 1st I stopped eating sugar – no sweetened yogurt, no sodas, no jam on toast, no tea – boom, the pounds started dropping.

I have found my brain. I feel like Rip Van Winkle that has been taking a 20 year nap.

I am using stevia for my afternoon tea, but otherwise I am not using any artificial sweeteners. I bought it in packets. I use about 1/4 a packet per mug of tea. You have to be careful to not use too much because it makes the tea too sweet. (I am a sweet tea fiend too!). The next package I buy will either be granules or liquid so I can control the portion better.

Fruited yogurt. I loved yogurt. I ate it for breakfast 3-4 days a week. I finally realized – fruit on the bottom yogurt has almost as much high fructose corn syrup in it as a Coke. I rarely drank sodas. But I had no qualms about eating a carton of fruited yogurt for breakfast and sometimes for lunch too. Even as a late evening snack – it replaced pudding or ice cream for me. No wonder I wasn’t losing weight!

Now, instead, I am eating unsweetened applesauce and oatmeal or cereal for breakfast. On weekends, I eat applesauce on whole wheat toast instead of jam. For lunch, I am having turkey sandwich and a big salad, or chili… lentil soup… anything but fruited yogurt.

Late night, instead of snacks, I have a bottle of cold water with some lemon.

I am so glad I started this goal. I finally feel like I am coming out of the fog.

The past 4 days were a wobble. I went to a hotel as a chapparone for a school group, Thursday-Sunday.

Nays: I had an Icee at the mall on Friday, and a serving of Hagan-Das chocolate ice cream Friday night. I had french toast for breakfast on Saturday. I also had 2 cans of ginger ale and a Sprite.

Yays: I did not eat cookies nor cheesecake that were served to me. I had raisins, an apple, unsalted pretzels or sunflower seeds for snacks. I kept up with my water consuption, vitamins and walking. I did not get to swim as I had hoped.

So I wobbled but I did not fall down. Back on the wagon today.

Not eating sugar for a couple of weeks made me feel very good – more alert – more in charge of myself. I was feeling the benefits before I left town. Now I feel ok, but not quiet as sharp. I enjoyed the trip, but I am glad to get back home and to my safe environs.

I succumbed to 4 gingersnaps this morning. 93 calories. I have had the flu so not eating anything since about Thursday of last week. I have had about 4 bags of popcorn, some juice, and applesauce. I couldn’t taste anything but texture of the popcorn was good. Monday I made some plain pasta and put parmesan and Health Beat marjarine on it.

This morning, I made coffee, and had 4 gingersnaps to get me going while it brewed. I think more to taste something as anything else. These are very hot with lots of ginger in them. I decided, the first day back to work after having the flu – I could allow myself 4 gingersnaps. I am going downstairs now to get a salad – I am in need of something green and crunchy now.

Somebody play the theme from Rocky—I lasted all day yesterday and I did not eat cookies.

We had a baby shower this afternoon at work and I had cheese and Wheat Thins and Triscuits; grape tomatoes, brocolli, mushrooms and hummus; mineral water and about 2 pretzels. I avoided cake cookies and lemonade. Not hard. It twas easy.

There were no homemade goodies there however. I have a weakness for homemade cookies, etc. but today I was safe.

Yea!!!!

Someone brought home made chocolate chip cookies to work. They are on the file cabinet next to the coffee cups. I made coffee and was there 3-4 minutes and did not take one. But it was hard. They are contained in a Ziplock bag—a gallon-sized bag full of them. I am not going to have one. I do not want one. I don’t need one. Thank you for listening. b.

One week down. I had 4 chocolate chip cookies Sunday at the neighbors, but otherwise I have not had anything with sugar added to it. I was being oblivious again: I picked them up and started munching without thinking.

Things that are helping me:

Unsweetened yogurt with applesauce or unsweetened fruit—pineapple and banannas are good!
Mineral water intead of soft drinks or ginger ale
A bag of popcorn when I had the nibbles 2 times.
Cereal—better to eat a bowl of unsweetened raisin bran with skim milk than to eat cookies.
Some really yummy blood oranges. Had one most every day at 4PM—my normal tea break time.
Trying to get to bed on time. When I stay up late the diet train goes off the rails.
Eating more vegetables. I love vegetables. If I eat a baked sweet potato or winter squash or even brocolli carrots and mushrooms with hummus then who needs sweet things?

I am getting better. Yesterday we went to lunch at a dining place where everything is included. I didn’t have dessert—despite some really beautiful looking concoctions brought back to the table by my dining partners. I did not feel deprived. I enjoyed a glass of juice as a treat instead.

I passed by Oreo’s yesterday afternoon at work. Someone left them out near the coffee maker. I poured the paper plate of them into our community cookie jar, put the lid on tight and didn’t look or touch. As long as I can’t smell them I may be alright.

I am avoiding tea. It may be easier to give it up than to drink it without sugar.

I passed by a Coke opportunity today and am now drinking water instead.

I think this will get easier. It is not undoable now. But the further I get away from sugar the less I want it.

One week and counting.