be happy on my own..not having to rely on someone else for happiness

I’ve been relying on something to make me happy, not someone. Wanting to be a full-time professional actor has been my goal, yet it’s something I depend on for my happiness. As much as I love it and am serious about it, I want to be independent of it so it won’t torture me like it does. I want to define myself away from it, to be happy whether or not I get many roles or not, to live every day even if the phone doesn’t ring with a casting director on the other end. I want to be independent of something outside of me.

I’ve lived unsuccessfully on my own for 10 years; it was great but financially I was a mess. I want to do it better this time.