Tell a Chum story every day

Then after dinner, wanted to go out and be watched.

“The thing is… I’m in a fight with an invisible mime.” Then from below he yells up , “I’m in a bar fight with an invisible guy!” and then proceeds to punch but mostly take punches that knock him around the trampoline.
First – bar fight? Second – I blame Star Trek and Kirk.

From the backseat, “Driving is PERILOUS!”

“Mommy, it’s embarrassing.”
One expects that. Any time I expect I’ll get that from holding hands, or kisses goodbye, or some such thing, but that’s not what the chum is embarrassed by. He complains about tiny random moments – this one was that I was picking up socks in Target and, god forbid, looking at how long they were.
Still kisses me at school, though.

“My cat is not bitter.”
Me – blank stare.
“He’s not bitter. He’s a sweet cat.”

This child is a pun monster!

The morning voice at the side of the bed
“Mommy? Can I climb in and have a cuddle?”
He hasn’t been awake long. He’s not icy like usual. Small voice in the dark.
“This is the day I’ve been dreading.”

The chum is a collector and keeper, like interesting pieces of garbage found in the parking lot level collector. Things must be pried away often. He has a huge rock collection, a small shell collection, a wine cork collection, a bottle cap collection, and a collection of bones, machine pieces, and other assorted objects that we call “cool stuff”.
In the process of reorganizing the room, I’m trying to corral the collections to one shelf and to some way of organizing rather than piles of stuff. We agreed the caps and corks will live together in a basket and I got a drawer system from my classroom to use – 1 drawer for cool stuff (and shells, in their own box) and 2 drawers for rocks. One drawer was for medium rocks with a box for teenies inside and the other for big rocks.
It’s hard for anyone to sort a collection, and the chum is definitely not an exception. Our criteria was – do you love it? Then you can keep it.
The chum, of course, couldn’t keep quiet. “Look at this one! It’s so shiny! I’m keeping all the shiny ones.” “Oh! This is my only volcano rock. Remember this one? The fossil? Oh, is this obsidian too?” After working his way on his own through most of two baskets of rocks, he was done and needed help. I put several rocks in my hand and he would pick those he wanted to save. Rocks were flipped and touched to determine. “Sometimes it feels good, so you have to keep it.” And named, “Oh! Remember this Oreo rock? Remember how I smashed this rock with another rock?”
Now all the rocks are tidy and the best ones are displayed. He’s delighted and can hardly wait to add to the piles.

The chum’s favorite show right now.
Tonight the chum was heckling them, “Why don’t you use your mobile phones?” We had to explain the olden days to him.

Trying to get a shower, the chum won’t let me.
“Mommy, can I show you my thing I made on Minecraft before you take your shower. I want to play more Minecraft but I don’t want to use up two tickets in one day.”
“Have you been playing with Nonni and Papa while I was out?”
“NO! Papa and Daddy are working and Nonni is just looking at her computer and I am So. Bored!”
Someone needs a play date.

I was cutting up the wisteria trimmings for the yard waste container. The chum was poking about. Monologuing.
“I want to make a slingshot.”
“You HAVE a slingshot.”
He disappears into the house. Comes back with slingshot. Shoots a few nuts. “I’m not very good with this.”
“If you practice you will be. If you shoot 30 nuts you’ll be much better.”
“What if I’m not? What then? What if I’m not better. Mommy?”
Finally he decides to make something and needs to move rocks and wood. “Is there a slug or anything under that rock?”
Obviously, I can’t reassure him. There probably is. He moves a rock. “It’s too heavy.” Moves another one. “A slug!!! I don’t like slugs.” He stands there. I flick off the slug. He picks up he rock and is off. “Slugs are… I just don’t like them.”

Me: “Are you going to make any resolutions for the new year, chum?”
“Do another triathlon…. Bike more…. Swim more.”
Me: “Run more?”
“No.” makes a face.

Later, Me: “My resolution is to kiss you 5 times every day.”
“You already do that. How about we kiss 10 times a day. Let’s do it now.”
Much kissing ensued.