COUNT MY BLESSINGS

It has been hard to count my blessings lately, especially since my list of “To Do” gets longer and longer, and usually comprised of “urgent but not important” things. I feel like I am drowning in the sea of mundane details of human existence, living out Thoreau’s version of quiet desperation. But I have to keep reminding myself that this is only a valley, that the road uphill is never easy, and this, too, shall pass. At times like this, counting my blessings is not about counting how many great things are happening to me—-it’s about counting on my faith of good things to come.

I can’t believe I am putting God as number 4, quite blasphemous! He has always been more on the background, but lately, I feel more and more the urge to praise Him for the source of all good things in my life. I haven’t always been a Christian, and even when I did accept Christ, I wasn’t always devoted. Fallen away so many times I’ve lost count! But God never gave up—-He has always loved this prodigal daughter. And I am blessed, because He is in my life.

I’ve been having trouble thinking up entries for this goal because I keep thinking it needs to be something big, and has to have a central theme somehow. But blessings don’t have to be counted in that way, does it? So I am going to try something different—-I am going to look at this moment, and list everything that comes to mind that should have deserved my gratitude:

1.my soft terry cloth robe
2.my mom & brother alive and living close
3.friends who live in great places that I can visit (Tahoe, Santa Cruz, London, NYC, Canada)
4.starting a new job in a cool place, and possibly having some very good co-workers
5.a reliable car that gets good mileage and is low maintenance
6.living close to grocery stores and many good restaurants
7.great imagination that entertains me
8.great passion that sustains and fuels me
9.ability to speak 2 languages and have full access to two very different cultures
10.great new bookshelves that display all my books beautifully
11.fruit trees in my yard
12.Southern California perpetual perfect weather

Being an American woman, I often forget that I am blessed. Sometimes it amazes me that I have the freedom to choose a career that I want, a husband that I want, and a life that I want. And it doesn’t matter if I always get everything I ask for; what matters is that I live in the freedom to make those choices everyday. In many cultures, that power of choice for women is unthinkable.

I am blessed with a roof over my head, a hot cup of coffee in the morning, food in my belly (too much food, actually :P ), family, friends, and health. Everyday that I can wake up is a good day, because it’s another day that I can exercise my constitutional right to “pursue happiness”. If these are not God’s blessings, I don’t know what is.

I know I don’t appreciate him enough over the last 11 years that we’ve been together. But I thank God for him, for he is not only my best friend, but he has also shown me much love and tenderness. He is not a perfect person, but he tries to communicate with me through the rocky times. I love him for his kind heart, and his patient, caring presence in my life.