be more open

if someone were to ask me about my introverted ways, why i do it…i don’t know. it’s just the more comfortable thing to do…it’s not that it makes me happy doing it, but i sort of freeze up and sometimes get so pressured i just can’t think of what to say.
it always makes me feel ridiculously awful when people slowly pull away from me, realizing that they probably won’t make any progress in getting to know me. you can tell in the little things, and then they’re gone.
and it’s all my fault!

i don’t want to be, you know, spill-my-heart-out-to-everybody type of a person. i just want to be more open with the friendly and loving people who are deserving and waiting to see the real me. i keep everything locked up inside, which isn’t good because you know that someday it’s going to come out. at least, for me it does. you just reach a certain point where you start to crack.
i don’t want that, i want to openly just be my total self and say what i mean to people.
this will take awhile. ;)