get a boyfriend

randomness. I was going back to the top of the page after reading the entries below, and I saw the reminder box. It said ‘remind me: next week.”

Yeah, remind me to get a boyfriend next week. I’ll get him then, no sweat.

I dunno, it just made me laugh to think of it.

I know there are probably more pressing issues in my life, and more urgent goals that need to be taken care of than this and a few other goals I’ve listed, but to give up on yet another goal makes me feel like I am backing down. I’ve survived for a pretty long time without a boyfriend; 23 years, to be exact. Sure, I’ve had moments when I really wanted one, but I’ve had just as many moments where I was happier than a clam to be single. But I wonder if I’m taking the easy way out. Because I say that I’m fine without one, and I say that there are more pressing issues, but I know there’s a part of me that fears going down this path. It ties in beautifully to my fear of committment. Is this something I should be focusing on? Am I making too big of a deal? Not going with the flow and letting it happen when it happens?

I’m judt torn and confused and I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to these feelings that I’m harboring. Sometimes I don’t even want to try.

but I WANT him. I want to spend my time with someone of the opposite sex, someone that I can kiss passionately, and hold hands with, snuggle with, give Eskimo kisses…someone I can force to do things with me, someone I can hold and comfort when he’s having a bad day. I’ve got so much potential when it comes to the boyfriend department. I don’t want to waste it all on myself.