Stop comparing myself with others

I missed passing a certification test today by 1% point and I felt as if I where a failure, not as if I had messed up on a test. It was hard to show my face to the other employees, though they were very supportive. I am a proud man, which I see as a negative, and I will have to retake the test within two weeks.

that is supposed to be part time, so that I can be “semiretireed.” I seem to be working with a lot of young people. In fact some of my supervisors are younger than my kids. I find that I want to “prove myself” when it is not necessary!

but I still find myself thinking, “If I only had as much money as ** I would be OK.” I forget that I have everything that I need, and more. I have been ill the last few weeks, spending one night in the hospital and will have weeks of recovery. One problem with that is I have way too much time to sit and THINK. When I am alone with my thoughts, I am in the company of a fool.

With whom should I compare, my lack of comparing myself:-) It just struck me that this was a silly goal, perhaps I should say that I will start to use God’s standard and not that of those around me.

and I notice that I have more serenity. If I rejoice with those that are rejoicing and mourn with those who mourn, then I am content with my life. I never would have thought it would be that way, but it is:-) I am no better than anyone else, but I am no worse either.

I have a bad habit of comparing my “insides”, with other people’s “outsides”. That is to say, the way I feel about myself as compared to the way other people look to me. I know that if I had to take someone else’s problems I would trade back for mine, but that knowledge and the feeling sometimes don’t work together. The one thing I can say is that I am getting better:-)