be an awesome dad

and will keep doing so!

...does a parent move from being genuinely hip and cool to being totally clueless? My pre-parenting life and in fact my current life involves checking out shows, seeing new bands, creating my own style, making art, hanging out with interesting people, acting for the genuine radical transformation of the world, keeping an open curious mind. But is there a point where it is inevitable that I become a hopeless square? Is this progression ineluctable or is it a matter of choices that people and parents make? Not that I want to be one of those parents who parties with their kids, that always strikes me as kind of off and disturbing, but I do want to maintain my own sense of style and the avant garde as well as being a secure and nurturing parent. Is this duality possible? I am hoping so.

spend the morning jumping around the kitchen
doing faux martial arts moves and spins
just to make her laugh

spent a few days in PA, driving to manhattan tomorrow to see my relatives so the kid can meet her great grandmother. I don’t know if this qualifies as awesome but i’m tired so i’ll put it here anyway :) not that a trip back to the city is a burden though…

signed her up for infant music classes (not a ‘class’ as more of a place to hang out and bang on stuff (at least for me)), this will be a great start for her future career as a death metal drummer!

may be somewhat of a blessing as I’ll get to spend a few weeks around my daughter as I look for a new job. i’ve been feeling a little jealous that my wife has had the chance to get to know her better but now I’ll be able to hang out with her more, sing her more rolling stones songs, and laze at cafes with my little bohemian protegee.

two weeks off and I have to go back tomorrow,
it royally sucks,
not that I don’t find satisfaction in my work
but really, I want to hang at home with my wife and baby
oh, to be swedish
and the dream of a social support network
paid for by a huge tax burden,
nonetheless, I think it’s got to be worth it.

I love that baby, yet I am tired as hell, we played some more music for her (the Berkeley college radio station) and she really liked Slayer and some senegalese blues.

It’s been a week and we’re at home with our little girl and for myself, I’m adjusting to life as a father. That sounds so weird everytime I write it. She’s pretty chill but fiesty at the same time, I can’t wait to show her the world, and especially to give her the nurturing environment that didn’t really happen for me, I never want her to feel that nobody in the world cares about her and what will become of her, I want her to know, to really know that I always will.

any day now, any hour, just waiting for her arrival