envisage my life post-dissertation

I don’t think there really is a way to stop this sounding shallow… but hey, I’ve had YEARS of great big head brain learning stuff – heck yeah it’s time for a little of this kind of shallow!! ;)

Thing is, I am pretty scruffy. I mean… hmm. Not like I make no effort, but – well, this is I suppose my statement that I could and would maybe like to do better. Not that it’s the greatest of hardships: I do like make up and pretty clothes. I could just do with having a bit more of a clue! ;)

What’s kicked this off? Well, this made me realise how much I do like pretty clothes/shoes/etc. I’m slightly abashed that some part of my get fit/lose weight stuff is about appearance, but there ya go. I have a new role model: I have a few (ahem) things in common with the lovely Christina Hendricks (red hair, height – why, what were you thinking?! ;)) who’s making me reconsider what can and can’t be done fashion-wise with a me-ish shape (and presumably industrial-strength underwiring??!).

I was also doing a bit of tidying (anything but studying, as ever!) and realised that with half this goal in mind, I’ve started in my usual fashion: throwing money at it, soothing my ‘arghs’ at not having the time (it doesn’t work, I know). Looking to see what gaps there are (urm… not many?!) on which to spend my current Boots vouchers, I find I have rather a lot of make up to experiment with. Loads of different eye colours, for instance, and I could do with figuring out the pearl-highlighting thingies, and just generally stuff like that.

And – why not?! I’m a girl and I can, it’ll be fun, and it might even help me feel more confident – for future-soon things like job interviews and dating and general aging, too. Eeeep!

The Biggy: WRITING

No matter what else has come and gone or changed in my life, I have always, always wanted to be a writer. At the moment I pick away with reviews – and am always thrilled when they flow, and more so when I get praise for them – and have set up a few blogs, if not as active as I like so far. But really, I want to write fiction. I have stories – well, tiny fragments of – running through my brain so much of the time: to capture those, piece them together, entwine them into coherence…

This November will be my first not studying since I ever heard of NaNoWriMo; I fancy giving it a go.

I’m reading a fabulous book right now, Writing Your Dissertation in 15 Minutes a Day, which is just as much about writing (period) as it is about dissertations. I’m so thrilled to see how these skills I’m trying to develop/use right now are so useful to something I’ve wanted to do my whole life!!

Incidentally, I found out that my auntie (I’m not really in touch with most of my family, for ‘other’ reasons than them, personally) is now a published author getting rather good reviews. I’m at the same time thrilled for her and motivated that if she can do it there’s no reason I can’t, and yeah, just a teenie bit jealous.

This is that One Big Life Goal that I HAVE to try and do – published or not, just to WRITE it!

(I know most of the site probably shares this one. Does anyone else find that actually a bit dispiriting, that everyone wants to do this one!?)

Might as well go for the full set…!

So, we’ve done art, food and touched on technology, so here’s the more physical stuff. This is very closely related to (and indeed mentioned in) ‘1’, and is known in my head as the F’n’S goal: Fit’n’Slinky.

I don’t want to go on about weight loss type stuff, but truth is I am overweight for my height (perfect if I was about 6’3, mebbe?! LOL!), not very happy about my wobbly bits, and also just totally unfit. Well, I am a desk-bound office worker, with studies and hobbies that all involve large amounts of sitting on my ass, quite frankly! It’s bad for my health, my general stamina, and also my confidence in my looks – I don’t and shouldn’t just accept being a bit on the chubby side when I absolutely CAN do something about it!

I’m really, really not built for running, but that is what appeals most – the freedom, the stress relief. That and yoga, and just more general moving (walking, dancing, anything!).

On the shallow side, I do just want to wear nicer clothes and feel like I’m looking as best as I can even as I get older. More importantly is the health stuff, and I have huge hopes of building up better energy levels to then direct towards managing this whole heap of projects!!

Aaaaaand of course there’s more!! :)

Skipped yet another occasion for a hand-made card last week, but today I did allow myself to splurge just a little on some more materials (erk, I know!!) including xmassy stuff. I am Really Looking Forward (are you paying attention, future, post-dissertation self?!) to getting back to this and practicing to build up skills!!

Have been having other thoughts around the arty areas, too. Getting back into drawing has been on my one-day list for an age (along with everything else!) and one of those nice and helpful linkages cropped up again:

Ooh – what if I got good enough at drawing again (and practiced a more graphics/semi-cartoony style) that instead of drooling over all these stamps (or thinking, hmm – something sort of like that but…!) I could DRAW what I wanted to colour with my ever-expanding promarker collection?!

Heck, if I got good enough I could totally justify that drawing tablet…! ;)

I am, of course, a total Scanner. Therefore there WILL be projects – plural! The great thing is finding out how interconnected they all are…! :)

Today I’ve been thinking foodie thoughts. I’m totally looking forward to trying some new recipes again, when I have more time – or, indeed, just cooking up some old favourites!

Which links very well with my website building aims! Aaaaaaaaages ago I set up my recipe finder website, but as it was for coursework I couldn’t touch it – til now! I want to make LOTS of improvements, totally up my web-building skillz, start adding more recipes, invite a few testers, and hopefully link to a (new) cooking blog!

All links to my healthy eating (or FaS) goals, too. Got suckered into watching an infomercial yesterday – not that I believe these things at all and would never pay out money – but the message about ensuring your liver wasn’t gunked up sort of resonated. So yeah, I am sort of thinking about post-study research on good-for-liver and/or detoxing type foods/recipes, as a bit of a needed-weight-loss kick start.

Soon….

It’s kind of amazing to me looking back over the entries on this goal, and in other places, and seeing that once-impossibly long list of study-steps between me and this goal reduced to one thing: the dissertation itself. I mean – wow!

I’m back to thinking of something I scribbled to myself a while back: “I have this mad urge to do something huge and exciting just to mark the end of it all, the start of a new life – go on a meditation retreat, buy a bass guitar and learn to play, embark on a passionate love affair!”

Seems like I should get planning, huh?! ;)

I guess this is more and more on my mind as I finally feel like I’m starting to score things off the list: assignment 4 went in yesterday, and fingers crossed it’ll be totally done within the fortnight – eep!

By ‘it’ I mean the diploma, rather than the degree: still enough to do for that! o_O But it feels like soooooo long since anything was done, finished, without something new biting at its heels. This time, everything is ‘ongoing’, so done is… well, one less thing!

I have plans! First up is chasing fitness – and intend to start that with the new month, methinks. This past week I’ve also done a bit of cookery dabbling again, and I’ve been collecting recipes to try, on pinterest – as ever, I’m craving (and now anticipating!) that sense of space that’ll allow me to feel free to pursue some randomness.

Writing is another one – a biggy, in fact. This time next year I’ll have absolutely no studying going on. I mean: WOW!! Which means that finally – FINALLY – I would have a chance to do NaNoWriMo! Thinking, though, that aside from that and glorious dreams of novelistism (shared with half this site, no doubt!) I’d really quite like to do some research on short stories, and the good composition of – something to ‘hone’ the skill a little before plunging in. Soon :)

And then there’s all the little things that keep coming to mind: the art/craft/stuff, as ever; possibly odd-sounding yearnings to get all domestic goddessy and be a cleaning dervish!; make up tutorials and experiments; getting a cinema pass again, and going to see random movies – ditto reading random books.

I note these here. ‘Spare’ time will one day be a reality: it’ll be good to look back and remember what it was I so wanted to do with it!

And in the meantime… nice as these thoughts are, I MUST remember to focus on now and getting as much out of the current opportunities while they’re here!!

In an attempt to motivate myself to finish some stuff, here we go!

This time next year life WILL be very, very different whether I like it or not! Contract will be up, exams will be long over, and dissertation will be fully done. And then… wow.

I do sometimes wonder if I’m dragging my heels a bit ‘cos I don’t quite know what I’ll do once all these long years of part-time studying are over. It sounds daft, even to me, ‘cos I absolutely crave the change! The chance to learn what I want, when I want, how I want – not for exams, etc. And guilt-free free time – oh wow, wouldn’t that be good!

And yet sometimes I do wonder if, without the spur of enforced boundaries and zooming deadlines – will I get anything done?!

But – pointless to think like that! Of course I’ll get stuff done – because I want to! :)

The first port of call will be a veg out: and even then, it’s a chance to catch up on all those movies and TV shows I don’t quite have time for. And books! Ooh the books – I’ll spend a whole day in bed with books :) And I’ll be able to pick up random stuff just to try, knowing that I have time (and mental energy!) to give even odd stuff a go. Yes, reading.

And writing – big, BIG ‘stuff to do’ I’m looking forward to is having space to focus on writing. Nano 2012, here I come! ;)

And the other stuff, too, of course: stuff that yes, I could be doing (some of) now, but I just can’t keep stretching myself that thin. I will be hitting the gym (as soon as post-assignment, methinks), managing my weight better, and all that jazz. Socialising – oi! And hobbies… preferably before the christmas cards needs posted, at least on that particular hobby, eh?!

Overall, now, I’m trying to view this last bit of organisation and effort as excellent training: all this project management, time management, scheduling etc – perfect preparation for application to a Scanner lifestyle!

So yeah. Keep going, and as things finally start falling off the all-too-full plate I can leave a little space, but also start re-filling it with ‘better’, more ‘me’, stuff – with good skills to back ‘em all up!! And most importantly: I don’t ever need to feel overwhelmed by those things, ever again!!