Make 2008 my best year yet

Wow, August went fast! Quick summary against plan:

• G1: not so very much, but I started enjoying it again. Still, I can hear that ‘tick tick’ starting!
• G2: survive notice period – done! :)
• G3: try for some daily, gentle incorporation – this went well. It was lovely not feeling I ‘should’ be going to the gym (so I didn’t!) but I probably got more exercise (some weeks) just from walking about more. Walking is about my pace right now!
• G4: stay within SP targets – err, mostly not! Still, last time I weighed myself I’d lost another lb, and I think the small loss through near-zero effort is a good thing!
• G5: not so much. A couple of reviews, and very little card work. Hmm.

Mostly August was the exhaustion of finishing up at work; more nights out than I’m used to; and two pretty lazy weeks of holiday. Which all means that I didn’t make quite the progress on my goals that I felt I wanted to, but on the other hand I do feel like I’ve lived the month – there’s such a balance to be found there!

So on to September – my birth month, so all sorts of fresh starts, really. Being in Scotland I don’t have that new school term thing (that was a couple of weeks back here), but new month, counting down to a new age and new decade (!), new job.

As ever, the plan is to try for that balance: keep working on the things that are meaningful to me, but also finding plenty of time to enjoy life rather than constantly seeing time as something that should be used for improvements, y’know?

Anyway, to be more specific:

G1 – Studying
Doesn’t look like I’m going to be finished with the library books before they’re due back, but I can try! Also need to sort out some real-life support now that the term is starting – go to tutorials, perhaps?

G1.5 – Website
These last few days have seen my first real push of the build phase. Perhaps slotting in a few solid days for this – whenever I get feedback! – is the way to go?

G2 – Work
Newness! Really looking forward to, while at the same time not entirely sure what I’m getting myself into! It will be very strange being new and not-new at the same time. Still, I shall try my best!

G3 – Fitness
I think, as long as the weather holds, I shall stick to the at-home and walking efforts, and leave the gym ‘til I have to – and hopefully by then I can be a bit more organised with my time?

G4 – Healthfullness!
SP targets! Keep trying – I think I’m doing okay, if not brilliantly. Small improvements all round, please. Also worth remember the wider aspect of this goal: eat well, sleep well, etc.

G5 – Creativity
Again, just enjoy – yes I want to post more reviews and make more cards, but I also want it to be fun – and thus a good balance to everything else.

G6 – Motivation
I have a goal to examine this, now, but I think largely it boils down to tiredness: so, get plenty of rest, and remember that it’s okay to be too tired to be up to much – I can still use that time ‘productively’ by being more purposeful in my relaxation.

G7 – Time Management
Always one that needs work! I genuinely want to do EVERYTHING right now, so obviously getting this sorted would be hugely helpful. Things like study reading at lunchtime, working before messing about, etc. Will be interesting to see if the new job influences anything.

G8 – Newness
I’ve written a couple of times over my holiday how fabulous I feel in those moments I’ve moved just slightly out of my comfort zone: remember that! Plans for September include trying the studying-in-coffee-shop that’s appealed to me so much recently; some new recipes; new movies; lots of new Lush stuff! Oh and of course – NEW JOB!!

G9 – Play House
I’m trying to convince myself I like housework – it’s productive, a break from all my more mental activities, and… hmm. Yeah!

G10 – And Relax!
As said above, want to be more proactive and focused with this. Mostly that boils down to switching the pc off more! Ie: either be online OR watch TV; switch everything off earlier and have some proper down-time before bed; etc.

Phew, not much, then! Also don’t want to forget the remain half of my Five Week Project – actually, I think it’s really a way to manage all of the above AND doing that ‘remembering to enjoy life’ :)

I have this wonderful, if vague, feeling that life is finally starting to slot into place re all my goals! That said, I’m still not on top of everything as much as I want to be, nor have I shaken the feeling of having too much on – so, bit of a pared down August, in some respects – a reshuffling of priorities, perhaps.

My theory is that studying really is Goal 1, top priority, big focus. I’m not organised enough to work hard, say, 5 nights a week, and thus be able to devote the other two to something else. This isn’t changing: I want to give MORE time to studying, really rock the courses I’m doing this year, and I’m willing to sacrifice a little to make that goal easier.

The goal I’m regretfully half-giving up on is G3 – fitness. It’s been the one that gets dropped regularly, the one I just can’t seem to commit to. So, realistically I’m just not pushing too hard for this one, at least for August. I’m still trying to get a bit more activity into my daily routine, make it more of a habit, especially while the weather is… urm… decent!?

Anyway. I figure once this lot of exams are over – albeit next April! – I’ll only have one module left, and thus a lot more time to devote to other things, including really focusing on sleek, gym fitness – until then…!

Back to August! My new job starts in September, which leaves the rest of this month to really focus on the rest of my list before my energy/focus has to be pulled on the day-to-day newness for a while.

Studying is focus number one: before that new job, I really want to get a bit ahead of myself, lots of coursework and tutorial prep done! So, next couple of weeks: LOTS of reading; holiday fortnight: lots of coursework, etc!

Ah yes – half of August is my summer holiday (not going away!) which should give me oodles of time to be all productive, have tons of fun, and relax. Looking forward to keeping up with my review writing, making lots of cards (must start on xmas!), and enjoying a great deal of chilling. Hurrah! :)

• G1: oodles, including coursework/tutorials
• G2: survive notice period!
• G3: try for some daily, gentle incorporation
• G4: stay within SP targets
• G5: enjoy, esp. card challenges with pixy :)

Lulls just kinda creep up on you, don’t they?

Anyway. I’ve got two big events inching up on me. Two (overlapping) defined spans of time before a change. Time to see that as motivation to pick up all the strands of my life again, get my house in order, be organised and just grab life with both hands and be absolutely bloddy brilliant!!

Four weeks… a good span to work on study habits; get that website up and running, at least in first form; organise myself to use my time better, fit in all those hobbies I love. To rediscover motivation, and find passion for life.

Seven (and a half!) weeks… another good span, to get foodie issues and exercise into background habit mode; to remind myself of my good points and engage full-on confidence.

Gawd, can’t believe July is half gone already! My lazy end of June sort of… grew, and I’ve done very little this month. Kinda felt I needed it, though.

For alas, the more I set myself targets, the more I seem to swerve to avoid them! Perhaps then what I need is just a feel of what I’d really like to accomplish:

• finish at least one library book
• start doing the coursework, that I’m so glad to have rather than end of term assessment!
• indulge all crafty notions – lots of cards!
• catch up again with my reviews: Wanted, Hancock, The Other Boleyn Girl, Iron Council and just too many more for this month!
• get somewhere with SP
• accept exercise has to happen, and stop fighting it – or at least start letting the tiny little bits flow and be something
• hopefully get a new job – and/or start thinking applying for some other ones, just in case!
• have a good website prototype for M to help finish off over August

I want these things, really. I just need to remember that in ‘the moment’ when I think I’d rather be lazy!

Definitely feeling in a bit of a slump at the moment – constantly tired, beyond my usual. Perhaps I’m coming down with something? However, while my ‘right now’ goal is to get as much rest as I need and stay healthy, it’s also led me to ponder my other goals.

I think my problem is just how many of them are long-term things. I need to set myself some fixed-time, step-goals, to actually get moving forwards!

Of course, that’s not easy. And I do wonder, if my brain is going “Meh, I don’t want to set a goal for my weight by next month”, etc… what does that say about my commitment to the overall goal in general? Hmm.

So, my challenge for the remainder of June: rest, rest lots, and feel no guilt for ditching goal stuff for a night crashed out on the sofa! At the moment, I feel I need it! But at the same time: look at my important goals (studying, work, fitness, weight, creativity?), and set myself solid targets for July – and STICK TO THEM!! I’m never going to reach z if I refuse to make it to b, after all!

I am trying to change my life – but I’ve been trying to do it in the safest, easiest way possible. I’m not good at taking risks, or big steps.

However, all this work nonsense going on has made me realise: safe isn’t how change happens. Not really. The sidebar quote right now is, “You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” – perhaps it’s also true to say, you will rarely find improvements – you must take steps to grasp them.

Work – obvious. I need to move. I’m trying to do it without too much risk, but… if it comes to a chance of a job I can feel passionate about, or a safe half-step that I’ll still feel unsatisfied with…

Study – I coast along, doing what I can when I feel like it. THIS is the year to really throw myself at it – go the extra mile. ROCK this course!! And make time for those extras: the reading, the actual website building, the tangents. This isn’t school, it’s not just passing exams. This is me trying to prepare for and grab a whole new career.

Food, exercise… once in a blue moon doesn’t work. Motivation comes from me. Time management is a must if I’m to juggle work and study and creative outlets.

If I want change, I must MAKE changes.

I’ve been in something of a funny mood, largely just not feeling I’ve accomplished much, I guess, for the half-year near gone. But that’s just not true! The first four months were a mad frenzy of studying, and everything else really was dropped for a good part of that. So yes, I am hitting June and starting over/just started on a lot of things, but if I look at my last entry – the ‘new year’ only really started 31 days ago!!

And thinking that, I’m not in too bad a place.

G1: I’m not quite as far forward with the studying as I’d hoped, but I do feel in the ‘groove’ and keen to press on.

G1.5: I seem to have lost the motivation for my web building a bit, which saddens me. That said, I’m still going ‘squeee!’ every time I read a study reference that sounds like I could use here…! :)

G2: oh, the ups and downs on this one! I really can’t decide which direction is for the best, but at least right now I have a meeting planned that might help. Certainly, I know that the decision is always in my hands – stay or go – whether it feels like it or not. I’ll get there!

G3: kicking off again, and I did promise myself that June would be a recommitment – so, let’s go! :) Am particularly proud in the past month to have started going for random walks – lunchtime or way home – that don’t feel like hassle at all. And that I’m accepting this as a valid form of exercise! Next steps including going back to the gym, buying a new sports bra (ordered), and then the biggy – new running shoes! :)

G4: am very surprised at myself to have joined SparkPeople. I would have been a sneerer at such things before – but heck, at this point I accept that ‘my way’ wasn’t working, and that shallow as it may be, losing weight really is important to me – both mentally and physically. More exercise still feels like the key, but educating myself on just how many calories I am consuming and how is also worth doing. 4DW is also likely to make a come back soon.

More… am surprised to find just how important this feels. I don’t want to say it’s gone up to priority one, but certainly that short-term it’s going to be much more at the forefront. Studying can and does just happen in small bits, without constant thought. Perhaps by being much more focused on the food/exercise/health stuff I can get that to a level where it is more naturally just happening – I hope! Actually, it was always my plan to shift focus from the mental (studying) to the physical after my exams – it’s just taken a month to kick in!

NB: let’s not forget: a slight reduction in calories is good, but a complete calorie crack-down is not going to do me any good in the long run! Sensible, sensible.

G5: review writing happening once a week; card making being picked at. I won’t say I’ve lost my creative urges, but certainly not being consumed by them as much as before. They’re there, and that’s comforting, I suppose. And the new 50p-for-writing certainly is encouraging me to just post, rather than waiting for perfect inspiration and perfection – a good thing!

G6: still seeing the pattern: HUGE enthusiasm… tailing away to nothingness. See G1.5. Right now it’s G4 on the peak… hmm. I do worry I have too many directions, and all I do is shuffle them around, never really accomplishing any of them. Ack. Knowledge is the first step to conquering, right?!

G7: definitely not happening, as demonstrated by yesterday’s mega nothingness binge for half the day!! See above!

G8: not too bad – and again, I feel this is important. New foods, new experiences, new ways of doing the same things – keeps you alive, methinks.

G9: ticking away. I seem to be better at doing the dishes more regularly, instead of landing up with a huge pile, which is something good!

G10: same old thing – so same old solution: pc off by 8pm, giving me at least an hour to doodle at something, and and hour to chill before bed.

So, there we go. Nothing hugely huge, but if I could just stick to the smaller progress I’d get there!

Here’s to a month of happy achievement, everyone! :)

thought for the month
Just, get off that behind and go DO!!

Appropriately, it’s both Beltane (and halfway between the equinox and solstice) and May Day tomorrow, but my ‘Noo’ Year was based on exams – all the things I wanted to do during 2008 were largely on hold until the exams were out of the way, and the rest of April was then a break before everything recommenced in my life. So – here we are!! :)

I’m happy to say that everything I set out at the start of the year is still valid – ie, on my plans – with some changes in priorities, and a lot of new… specifics? I am fully aware that learning to juggle and balance it all is going to be the big thing this year.

G1 – MSc
I’m signed up for 3 modules this year, so an extra bit of challenge. The good news is I already have all the material, so no horrible hold ups before I can get started!

And I am determined to do things right this year! I have 49 weeks – oodles of time, but I MUST use it! So, rough schedule already drawn up, intro chapters being read, and plans being made. Largely it’s a case of just getting on with it – slow and sure, work my way through everything ages before the exams (and coursework deadlines!!). However, this year also brings an added challenge of Network Applications – and a huge list of needed software. I’m not sure yet how much I can substitute open source alternatives, but the plan is to register for the university system anyway. Really, I’m lucky that it is so close, so if I can use it and be less stressed about things not working, so much the better! Besides, it puts me in the library, and there are stronger than ever requirements for extra reading for these modules.

This remains goal number one: the trick now is to give this plenty of attention, whilst still balancing in some of my other goals. AND balancing the three modules: one has very short chapters, but requires extra reading; another has very loooong chapters. Needs proper time management!

• register for uni IT systems; get everything working!
• start on the ‘Sunday schedule’!
• borrow at least one set course book, and start reading on the bus :)
• make a decision re the Dreamweaver course… sounds cool, but will it be helpful or distracting??
• finish §2 – on all three!

G1.5 – website
An extra – probably when I don’t need it! But… ah, it’s half the joy of the course, really, and this year is VERY relevant. I love the idea of learning and developing a practical use at the same time.

• continue reading web development book
• have another play with my freebie space
• that Dreamweaver course…

G2 – work
Hmm. And more hmm. This one is odd, as the more energy I give to G1, the less inclined I feel to pursue the main G2 aim: finding a new job! I’ve been looking today, and there are things I could apply for – they might even be interesting – but I’m just not sure enough to make a leap into the unknown when I already have so much else on.

• secondment work – getting started, official timings, etc
• training – discussions with manager
• attitude – remember that I’m here through choice: to give me time to study, and to suck what I can in my time left here (training, etc)

G3 – fitness
Oh dear. This has kind of died a death over the past while, and well I feel it! Still. I can but pick myself up and start again. The happiness is that I’m finally starting to feel a bit healthier (pre- and post- (and mid-!) exam sniffles!), so it doesn’t feel impossible to start getting back into things. There are a couple of attack fronts: C25K, yoga (I’ve missed the start of class, but I can do some at home), and generally working a bit more exercise into my everyday life.

Good synergy: my new Sunday schedule of going to the uni computer labs for an hour or so, followed by a session at the gym :)

• gym – get back into it
• do something daily: whether walking ‘round the shops, evening yoga routine, or arm exercises with tins – get into a routine!

G4 – healthfulness
I’ve left this goal purposefully general, but really the core (for now!) is about losing some of the weight that’s crept on (and on…!) over the past while/years. I have no intention of living in purgatory over it, though, but between G3 and a bit of sensibleness…! I think this sort of approach requires a sort of low-level, constant awareness – which is a bit awkward when my head is already in 20 other places! Hopefully I can manage it, though, without more stringent measures. Ultimately, my motivation is that wardrobe full of clothes that are all just a bit too tight right now!!

• think about delicate eating at each meal
• really watch the snacking – is it really worth it!?

G5 – creativity
This splits into two main avenues right now: card making and review writing. Neither is particularly ‘essential’ to my life, and yet both feed my soul in ways I’m just not willing to give up. The latter also feeds my book-buying habits ;)

• pixy’s birthday card – has to be special :)
• thank you / just because cards x2
• work on ideas notebook
• post at least 1 review/week – start whittling away at that stack of things I want to write about!

G6 – motivation
Argh! So much! So busy!! Well – the key is to remember that these are all things I want to do, and having a life full of things I want to do is a good thing :)

• resume Psychologies journal use
• resume gratitude journal
• meditation – not sure if this is the right goal, but a little time out could help me keep perspective! Aim would be 10 minutes a day

G7 – time management
By the spadeful, please! Still need to come up with a way to manage this that works for me.

G8 – Newness
Every now and then I write an entry on how having a new experience… recharges me? Something along those lines. So yes, definitely worth making sure life doesn’t fall into a rut of work/study/hobby/repeat.

G9 – Play house
Yeah.

G10 – And relax!
Always important! Besides, there are a ton of fun things I want to get done – and no one says goals have to be serious!

• watch Indiana Jones original trilogy again – before going to see Indy
  4 :)
• whittle down that stack of videos
• books, baths and early nights… all the usual! :)

Phew. Massive entry. Busy month! :)

The end is in sight! I know I should be panicking about how close the exams are, but right now I just feel like everything has been such a disaster that having them over is the best I can ask!

So, April 1-17: G1 and pretty much only G1

April 18-30: complete and utter chilling! I’m looking forward to such events as a whole day spent watching videos, a cinema binge, a long weekend at my friends’, and as little else as I can manage ;)

My new year starts in May. I just have to survive that long!

March _{is a third over already, which is scary as hell!} has to be about revision and coursework (G1) for me, and I don’t feel I have time for much else. However, part of what’s keeping me going is thinking about all the things I’ll be picking back up again mid-April.

G2 (work) will hopefully make huge progress, as I throw energies into job hunting! O.o To be honest, the past few weeks haven’t been bad work-wise, but I think I have to remember that I feel utterly unfulfilled in this role for all sorts of reasons – I can spend those 8 hours a day doing something much better!

G3 (fitness) is something I’m amazed to find myself looking forward to! Along with G4 (healthfulness), I’m just craving feeling much sleeker.

G5 (creativity) is definitely springing forwards already to balance the geekiness. I always said, after my exams I’d start on the Christmas cards! ;) Also want to keep going with the reviewing I seem to have refound my passion for of late.

G6 (motivation) – right now it feels insanely lovely to be able to do stuff under my own motivation rather than “Argh! ::insert swearing:: exams!!!” but I think I’m going to have to make sure – after a suitable break, of course!, I don’t just turn lazy. Next year’s modules are easier started now, of course…!

G7 (time management) – again, without the consuming panic of exams, it’s going to be very easy to do nothing instead. Well – remember this post: I want to switch my energies to the things I’m not doing now! Schedule!!

G8 (newness) has been a surprising, “I love it!” goal – it pushes me a bit out of my comfort zone, and then I realise how fabulous it is to try something different. Maybe with the warmer weather I’ll reopen the goal about exploring the city, or come up with new newness on top of food and entertainment.

G9 (playing house) as ever goes without saying. This post is about looking forward, so I’m not even going to think about spring cleaning or big reorganising projects!!

G10 (relaxation) becomes goal 1 for at least a week or two after those exams! Looking forward to it immensely :)