That I’ll never have this conversation with my mother.
Oh crap! It just suddenly started raining like the gods were emptying their urine pots, or whatever plumbing that sits in the clouds and further up.
Not that i would WANT to talk about sex with her! Gag.
I think this would happen in Oregon. Maybe with friends I make, since everyone up there is supposed to be as weird as I am. So I’ll fit right in, snug up in Eugene or maybe I’ll eventually live in Portland. “Keep Portland Weird” is actually a saying up there.
Maybe it won’t be a restaurant, but a bar. And who knows; I might drink then, in the future. I said about two months ago that I would never drink again. Because I had a really crap experience with alcohol.
Basically I drank two Smirnoff Ice’s (so you KNOW I can’t hold my liquor) a few hours apart. The second one I drank near midnight, and Friends was on, and I chugged that down. Then in about ten minutes I got the absolute worst stomachache you could ever have. I felt like all my internal organs, the hardest working and the most important ones, were all failing and flopping around.
I believe it was blood alcohol poisoning.
I thought, fuck. Dumbass, you just ruined your life. They’ll take you to the hospital and do a blood test and find out that you’re a minor and now they’re going to arrest my mother and she’ll go in prison for doing absolutely nothing and no college will ever accept me, and nevermind that because I am going to die. I am going to die.
Ten minutes later, I was on the floor, and then it was fine. Internal calm. And that was my second chance to say, I am too young for this shit.
Certain things can scar you for a while. A buzz is not worth jail time or the heavy conscience that you put your own flesh and blood behind bars or ruined chances for you, or anything else. It’s not even that good of a beverage! Call me a kid, but I prefer sweet tea. That’ll get the party started.
