To live instead of exist

i have been to a few funerals….no one very close has died yet…they were people i could live without to put it simply…i often dream abut the day when i will have to cry at a person funerla who is very close to me…friends, family,neighbours….i have just woken up to the fact of what funerals actually signify….a going away…a celebration of a life….departing…..
and im wiser now to know that people close may not have physically died…but the relationships have…..and that account s for a funeral…i WAS supposed to mourn those relationships but i didnt think about this way….maybe i can go back to them and have a resurrection of some sort…i have made up with a close friend..so thats a start…i dont wan to mourn…or atleast keep it away from me a long as possble..another feat for me!!11

i’m starting to focus on my dreams…the small and the big ones…the ridiculous ones…the unmentionable ones…the corny ones…the not-so-easily-reachable ones….i’m calling friends often just to let them know im still here and to check on them…im smiling at people more…

Sometimes i feel life just passes us by and we don’t enough things which are worthwhile.As kids we were more free and now we’ve turned into zombies…..we eat at lunchtime,dinnertime,breakfast…..sometimes i forget what i’ve eaten….there is no attention being paid….i wanna take time to smell the flowers….time to love myself…..time to love openly…..and there is time…my new motto will be ….THE BUSIEST PEOPLE HAVE THE MOST TIME!!!!that should work…