be in Maxim magazine

i am closer… this goal doesn’t seem real enough to me although i know it is. in so many ways. i could get in this magazine if i work out and get my body perfect.

Eva Sanchez was on the cover but her shots weren’t that good even though she is beautiful…. anyway, she’s doing her thing and she’s a thing of beauty and talent. I would love to be her and I need to work hard on myself so that i can get there.

I could do this if I would just fucking work out. I love the magazine and I love the way I’d look if I just kept my mind on it. I lose track of my goals, very easily. I need to get a maxim magazine tomorrow and plaster some of these pictures on my bathroom mirror and by my bed. I feel so good when I’m thin. I feel great about myself, no apprehension. I would love to have shapely thighs and small stomache and arms. I know I can do it, I just have to take one day at a time. This would so boost my career as well. The thing is I need to book something that would make them want to put me in a magazine. I’m going to reach this goal. I just have to keep trying. I already have some sexy pictures to send them that I took a while ago. Now I just need to send them to them and also, shape myself up. I dont know why this is soo hard for me.

I need to pray. I need to be focused. I have a lot of other stuff on my mind. That’s the differrence between me and the other people out there going for theirs. I want to change but I don’t know how. ‘

Maybe focusing on my goals and continuing to write in here will make a differnce for me.