Have a baby

to take Katrina to buy some cute shirts ~ she doesn’t have many clothes, and although they’re cute, she’s had them for awhile. I just appened to wash the clothes that were in her bathroom hamper last Thursday evening and she wore a shirt that I washed to school the next day. She had already worn it that week, and I know she’s at that age when things like that are important. She mentioned that she liked one of my shirts and said that when I didn’t want it anymore she would like to have it. I may give it to her anyway. I got it for Christmas from my sister, but it is the kind of t-shirt that Katrina would like to wear to school. I’ve only worn it once and it is a little tight. I’ve got so many clothes it is ridiculous ~ I think I will lay it somewhere in her room for her to see on Friday morning…

:-)

It is quite funny how unprepared I am. Sunday I open my fridge, knowing that I was going to need to go to the grocery store and buy some actual food. Things that would appeal to a child. And what do you think I find in my refrigerator? Well, first off it looked like a wine cooler or something (except it was full of half empty bottles of Sierra Mist)...

It also had two cartons of old milk, a bag of potato wedges (from last week), containers of sliced apples from who knows when, and what used to be some really good pretzel dip. I had nothing.

Then yesterday morning, I went to wake up Katrina and get her ready for school. I guess I thought it would be a breeze or something :-) She kind of rolled over and mumbled. I stood there and thought, “Oh, boy. How do I wake up a child and make them go to school??” I came back every fifteen minutes and was able to get her up on the third try. We were on time ~ yeah!

I will get into the swing of things ~ it’s just taking a little getting used to. I know that it must be hard for her, too. I mean, this has to be extremely tough. She has so much to deal with at such a young age. I just hope I help rather than make things needlessly more hard on her. I know I’m going to question everything I do ~ I’m like that anyway. The main thing is for me to provide a safe environment where she is protected and taken care of and she knows that she is loved.

:-)

that once again, I am not pregnant I am faced with the possibility that my husband’s niece may be taken from her mother. It is all very sad. DHR wants to meet with my husband and me. This has totally hit me like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden everything has changed. It’s quite scary, actually. I don’t really know what to think or how to go about anything. I just know that she needs us. She can’t be given away. My husband loves her and would treat her like his own child. I know that for certain. I would definitely do the same.

This situation has presented itself before, but nothing ever came of it (as may be the case this time).

I’m just kind of stunned right now. I’ve been asking myself a bazillion questions and trying to figure out what to do about a ton of things that keep coming to mind. I’ve never had to provide for a child before in any kind of way. And now the opportunity is right before me. This morning all I had to worry about was, well, nothing actually. And now this child who desperately needs someone.

I talked with my mother about it, and she was extremely supportive. She agreed that it was definitely something that my husband and I need to do. I felt much better after that. I know everything will be ok ~ most of all I want it to be ok for Katrina. None of this is her fault and she needs love, care, and attention right now. My husband and I will do the very best that we can to take care of her and most of all love her.

I have had to pull away from this for a little while. I do this now and then. Life gets busy. But more than that, it seems the more that I’m “engrossed” in it, the more painful it becomes. So, I will more than likely delve back into this when my heart is not so tender. It is hard to explain, but I go through cycles like this.

but, that is ok.

I am really just now putting my all into it. I am trying to really get familiar with my cycle. I bought an ovulation kit last month and used it. I will be buying another one this month. Each time I will probably get better at predicting just the right time.

I am also trying to eat better and have been taking my prenatal vitamins again for the last month and a half.

I am currently trying to get my BMI up just a tad. I need to gain about five pounds to be at a healthy weight for my height. I also desperatley need to drink more water. Working on this, too…

:-) Keeping my chin up

I picked up three new books yesterday that looked interesting and helpful ~

Fertility Foods – Optimize Ovulation and Conception Through Food Choices by Jeremy Groll, MD

Fertility and Conception – A Complete Guide to Getting Pregnant by Zita West

The Fertility Journal – A Day-by-Day Guide to Getting Pregnant by
Kim Hahn

I hope to find out some new things I could be doing (or not doing) that will help me have a baby…

:-)

Can anyone tell me any foods, drinks, etc. that are really good for women that are looking to have a baby (before and during pregnancy)?

Also, any that might be particulary bad for you?

I’m looking to improve my diet so that I can prepare my body for carrying a baby if I do get pregnant. Any help would be appreciated! :-)

I still will not give up.

:-)

My husband and I have been trying for over six years. I have been told there are no complications/problems that should prevent us from conceiving, however, it hasn’t happened yet….

Some days are very hard. Some days I’m ok. I know there’s a time for everything. It is just extremely sad and heartbreaking for me when I want one so bad.

I’m going to really focus on this goal this upcoming year ~ because there are things that I can do that will help. I need to do all that I can and then take it from there. I’m going to start my ovulation kit again in January and get back on my vitamins. I’ve also been researching on the internet for anything that may help.