Share my thoughts on grief

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving…
the sea I swim in is a lonely one
and the shore seems miles away…

Waves of despair numb my soul
as I struggle through each day…
My heart is heavy with sorrow…

I want to shout and scream and repeatedly ask “WHY”...
At times my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly..

So great is my loss…

Please don’t turn away from me
or tell me to move on with my life…
I must embrace my pain before I can heal…

Companion me through my tears…
sit with me in loving silence…
honor me where I am on this journey…

Don’t forget me or my child…
Listen patiently to my story…
I may need to tell it over and over again…
It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss…

Nurture me though the weeks and months ahead…
Forgive me when I am distant or inconsolable…
A Small flame still burns inside my heart…

Memories trigger both laughter and tears…
There is no right or wrong way to grieve…

We each must find our own paths…
but… please will you walk beside me?

Thank you Lord, for all that I learn from my brokenness…
and for the courage it takes to live with my pain…
and for the strength it has taken to stay on shore…

©1999 Jill B. Englar
rewritten with permission of the author

“I loved the boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable of
and he is taken from me – yet in the agony of my spirit in
surrendering such a treasure, I feel a thousand times richer
than if I had never possessed it.” -William Wordsworth

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.

- Pueblo Blessing

Remember me on quiet days,
While rain drops whisper on your pane.
But in your memories have no grief.
Let just the joy we knew remain.
Remember me when evening stars
Smile down on you with quiet eyes.
Remember me if once you awake
To catch a glimpse of red sunrise.
Remember me when spring walks by.
Think once of me when you are glad.
When you are happy, so am I.
And when your thoughts do turn to me,
Know that I would not have you cry.
But live for me and laugh for me,
And while you live,
I shall not die.

~~Author Unknown

TO THOSE WHO LOOK AWAY

To those who look away
when I grow teary-eyed in the baby department,
look a little deeper.

Surely you have some compassion in your heart.

To those who change the subject
when I speak my sons’ names,
change your way of thinking.

It just might change your whole life.

To those who roll their eyes
and say that we barely had them at all,
how could we miss them so much,
in our hearts we have seen them live a thousand times.
We have seen their first steps, first day of school,
their weddings, and their children.

We have had them forever in our minds.

To those who say we can have another,
we did. I thank God for her everyday,
but even if I have twenty more babies,
I will forever have two in the grave,
and that is two too many.

To those who say to get on with my life,
I have. It is a different life,

The life of a grieving mother.

One with a tremendous amount to be thankful for,
but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of!

Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms.

She is breathing, but she is dying.

She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.

She smiles, but her heart sobs.

She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS,
but she IS NOT, all at once.

She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
Do not dismiss us:

we have shaped more than just the future generation.
We have released all the tiny angels who are watching over you.

Open your eyes to US
and you just might see THEM.

_{~~ Author Unknown ~}~

The road to Sorrow was a short road.
I was there before I knew it.
The road to Healing is a long road.
The Healing Road will be found if I want, wait and look long enough.
Some days I travel easily,
making good time.
Other days each step feels like a mile,
and I don’t care if I ever arrive.
My sorrow is real. I can feel it,
and I see it everywhere I look.
This road named Sorrow never ends,
no matter how many milles I walk.
After a time, Sorrow Road doesn’t seem to always be uphill.
I can find many ways to walk down hill, among the living.

Tonya M. Sandoval
September 9, 2011

‎Yes, time will heal a cut, broken bones, and wounds but time does not heal grief.

“It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”
~ Rose Kennedy

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.

~ Earl Grollman

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us
...to new understanding
with the passing whisper of their wisdom.

Some people make
the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts
And we are never, ever the same.
~~ By Flavia, poet and bereaved mother

When we don’t speak of those we love who have died, only then have they truly died.