tackle my telephobia

I still do this, although I am trying not to be scared of answering the phone.

I’ve an idea that by the very prospect of having to deal with talking to me, I’m putting the other party at a disadvantage, and this helps a snowball effect occur; the less I can express thoughts or ideas over the telephone, the less capable I become.

Lack of confidence begets more.

Maybe if I try and reverse the roles - try to feel – not more superior but rather less inferior - I could express myself more confidently on the phone.

At the moment I can’t concentrate on what I’d like to say because I’m so engrossed in not being able to communicate efficiently (for whatever reason).

Maybe it’s a fear of not being able to say all I need to say before the other party interjects, or that I may forget what I have to say. It’ll have to do for another entry for another day.

This is really ridiculous that I even have to do this. Of all the irrational fears and anxieties my brain could choose to attach to my personality, it chooses one as pathetic as this.

I have no trouble speaking face-to-face to people who may call me. In fact when using the phone, I prefer speaking to people I don’t know, in stark contrast to my reluctance to speak with those same strangers in person. Telephone call centres do not irk me; it’s the calls from people I know – people I know will judge me (or at least that if they do, I’ll care) that really put me off.

I’ve had to make and take a few calls to and from workmates the last few days, and this has helped me to realise that it’s not entirely dissimilar to speaking to those same people in person.

I just have to bypass the paranoia, the feeling of not being able to judge people’s reactions and emotions until they engage in speech; I could call my boss to tell him I’m running late and not know whether to expect a firm reminder to stay punctual or a verbal warning and plenty of aggravation.

In many cases the telephonic silence from the other end – waiting for their turn to speak – is more tense than any other part of the call, and this anxiety can send me into a stumbling, stuttering panic. This, in turn makes me want to slam the phone down and write a letter instead. With time to proof-read, correct grammar, move certain phrases around, change certain words, and judge how it will sound to the receipient.

But I am getting there. I just need to stay relaxed. There is a definite change of tone in my voice on the phone, however – an anxious nervous vibrato – even when I know the person quite well (perhaps moreso in this case).

But let’s be frank – at least answering the phone when it rings and I don’t know the caller ID is a big step. I have made progress!