stop getting so depressed

So, my mood log has only been updated with my moods that venture as less than 6ish.

That is, about normal to depressed. (We’ll suppose ‘depressed’ includes the lesser items in the scale such as 4 – slightly down/blue)

So it seems I only have the motivation to update it when I’m not feeling too great. Perhaps the log itself was a bad idea, as I’ll only update it when I’m feeling down – circularly, if that is in fact a word and indeed the right one, the log may actually be calling too much attention to the ‘depression’ as it is.

Depression is in quotes there because I’m hardly clinically depressed – just feeling a bit ‘under the weather’, I suppose (to use the highly British phrase).

On the upside, the fact that I’ve only entered my spikes in and out of sadness and normality is a good sign if I’ve not added an entry for a good week or so now.

Surely, that means I’m feeling better, for longer. The very fact that I’m not even sure whether I have been or not is probably a sure-fire sign that I’ve been feeling nothing short of average at worst.

I’ve begun keeping a mood log which I try to update whenever I can, certainly whenever massive changes occur in my overall mood.

It’s a spreadsheet which I can create a line graph from at a moment’s notice, to show how my mood has changed over time, as different events happen in my life.

A bit like the gizmo here on 43 Things, but more in-depth.

Maybe it holds the key to fixing whatever it is that drags me down low all the time.

Perhaps its Seasonal Affective Disorder? Days where I manage to catch some sunlight before working under low artificially-lit conditions seem to be better than days where I’m plunged straight into the low light environment of the bar I work at.

It’s a lot less embarrassing to have a bit of SAD, rather than have to admit you may have bi-polar tendencies. Apparently there is a ‘strain’ of the disorder which is mild in comparison, and doesn’t involve harm – just wild uncontrollable depression (check).

Hm, a thought to ponder.