Love without fear

I am happy to say the I have achieved this goal. I suppose positive thinking and friends and family have helped me.
I met a man and love him unconditionally.

I am happy :-)

Today I found out my ex-boyfriend died. He lied to me when we were together. We went out for 12 months and we were happy. We never argued (yes it’s true).
One day he disappeared and I was wndering what happened. He calls me a few weeks later telling me he misses me and loves me. Then one day he calls to tell me the reason why he disappeared is because he was caught stealing cars and ran away from the police.
My mum told me a few months ago that she found out he was getting married to another girl inter state. I confronted him about this and he lied saying he doesn’t have a girlfriend that he loved only me.
He came to see me a week before valentines day telling me he wants to be with me, will i take him back. I told him to come back. He left and i never heard from again. Now 7 months later i get a phone call this morning. IT’s hsi fiance calling to tell me he died in a motorbike accident. He died instantly.
She on the other hand thought I was only a “friend” because he told her this. I told her the truth. She is pregnant with his baby, due in Jan 06.
How do I feel…..ANGRY because he lied to me. because i can’t tell him off for lying to me.

I was in love a few times, married once. I was badly hurt so many times yet I thought I would try again. I have come to the point where I have given up. I have found that I do not get the respect I need and often end up being beaten or just plain left without a word.
Right now I am SO SO scared to even think of getting invloved which would mean that I could miss a really nice guy along the way. Don’t get me wrong I don’t hate men, as a matter of fact I have heaps of male friends, but this is where is ends. I have also noticed that I could be friends with a guy, the minute I like them they disappear. Not that I tell them, but it happens. When I don’t like them they hang on like there’s no tomorrow.
I have currently caught up with a guy that I have known for more than 10 years. It used be hi and goodbye. Onday we sat down and had a chat for the first time and I found him to be interesting. A few months later I called him and now we catch up no and then. We get along really well, but you know what if he came and told me he likes me ….. I would bolt in the other direction.
When would I get over this? Do I have to let go of my past very bad marraige and the rest of the relationships?
I don’t know. I know …. life is short, but to take that step and then maybe be hurt again is a hell of lot to ASK.