Mend my broken heart

=) I don’t feel like calling him. That’s a step forward, yes?

So we did a “no contact” trial back in January for 10 weeks. I didn’t last the 10 weeks. I was hoping to get back with him when I came back, then I began to realize I shouldn’t be counting on it. So I called him to see how he felt. I called him and left him a message, where I cracked and I just sobbed a “I need you to call me”. He called me, eventually. He told me what I had told him when we decided on the “no contact” trial. He told me that we were both young and should move on without commiting to one another so early in life.

I had never loved him nor respected him more than that night.

Yes, my heart was definitely broken. He was my first love.

But I learned so much from him.

Now its just a matter of time before I can be truly comfortable with the idea of him loving someone else the same way he loved him, if not more.

It really is time. I can only hope that if I decide to go back to him, we both are in the same position in the relationship.

So a friend told me he was cutting classes and hanging out with two girls THAT RESEMBLED ME. After my heartbreak and anger subsided, I became worried. He was cutting class AGAIN. I want him to graduate. I don’t want our breakup to screw up his last semester as a senior. He’s so close…