Become a Real Love Coach

We can’t love other people unconditionally until we’ve felt unconditionally loved ourselves. We cant’t give what we don’t have.

You can’t build a solid house on a rotten, shifting foundation. But if you were not unconditionally loved as a child, that’s the kind of foundation you have, and no effort you put into the walls, windows, and doors will ever be fulfilling. You have to fix the foundation. Fortunately, as you find Real Love now, you can heal all the wounds of the past, repair the foundation, and build the kind of life you’ve always wanted.

Without Real Love we are desperate and will do almost anything to eliminate the pain of our emptiness. We try to get temporary relief thru….approval, money, sex, and power.

Without Real Love, we feel like we’re drowning all the time. When people get angry and criticize us, we don’t see them as drwning and protecting themselves. We become afraid, defensive, and angry, and we respond by using behaviors that may hurt them. Naturally, they react by protecting themselves and hurting us with even greater intensity, and until we understand that REAL LOVE IS THE SOLUTION, we can only perpetuate this cycle of self-protection an injury.

Most relationships fail because we become angry and blame our anger on something our parnter did or did not do. We need to remember that our anger is actualy a reaction to the feelings of helplessness and fear that result from a lifetime of struggling to survive without unconditional love.

Being married has caused me to question this whole love thing. No one ever taught me how to love. I have made a lot of mistakes, and been hurt. I still haven’t given up on love.

One of the concepts that I love the most in the book “Real Love” is telling the truth about yourself. “Only by telling the truth about ourselves can we create opportunities to feel loved and accepted.” We can’t feel loved if we manipulate people in any way.

It takes faith to tell the truth about ourselves. Being honest about ourselves even though we don’t know what the results will be. Tell the truth about yourself even when we’re not certain we’re being accepted. When you simply tell the truth and then wait, to receive the greatest gift of all, which is unconditional love and genuine happiness. If we want to have unconditional love, we must have faith and simply decide to keep telling the truth even when we’re not getting the immediate results we hoped for. Sometimes people will attack us when we tell the truth about ourselves, but those people are just afraid and protecting themselves. Sometimes people won’t be capable of loving us in the moment, but what we learn after a while is that we no longer have to insist that any particular person love us right now…Sometimes when we are not being loving it’s because we haven’t been taught how to be loving. We’re incapapble of doing what we’ve never been taught, and we can’t give what we’ve never been taught, and we can’t give what we’ve never received.

Faith means believing that when we consisitently tell the truth, someone will accept and love us and someone will. Real Love is infinitely available. As we tell the truth about ourselves, and as we avoid lying and using protecting behaviors, we will find people capable of loving us.

I noticed when I get stressed, I get real judgemental. I start talking about how incompetent someone is, or how stupid , or why didn’t they plan ahead..whatever. I’ve got to stop this and find other ways of coping with the stress. People are human and will always fall short as will I. Give up the blame game.

Most of us have not experienced “Real Love”, as a result we’re emotionally and spiritually starving and are unable to make each other happy no matter how hard we try.

Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person “without any thought for what we might get for ourselves”.

It’s Real Love when people care about our happiness without any concern for themselves. These folks are not disappointed or angry when we make foolish mistakes.

Real Love in unconditionally caring about the happiness of another person.

Sadly few of us have given or received “Real Love” and without it we experience a terrible void in our lives which we try to fill with: money, sex, power, approval, entertainment. etc…..

The one thing that creates happiness and fulfilling relationships is Real Love, Unconditional Love.

When we find unconditional love our unhappiness disappears just as surely as hunger vanishes in the presence of food.

Whe we are unhappy we tend to blame others for our unhappiness, even unhappiness that we carried for many years even before we met the person. But we are mistaken to blame our partnes for our negative feelings, it’s just an excuse because we feel bad; we need to blame someone. Our misery is not our partnes fault. No matter how much we demand or insist he or she cannot make us happy. Whe we find unconditioal love our unhappiness disappears just as surely as hunger vanishes in the presence of food.