Love my Husband

Sometimes people want to reduce sexual tension…or they are horney. And when they go to have sex, it isn’t because they crave that person, their wife or husband, it’s because they are simply horney. The writer says if you want to keep your sex drive alive it is not a matter of new techniques, or communication but self-development….you have to grow up. “The solution involves shifting from desire out of horniness to desire for the “partner”...wanting to share something with him or her. It’s the shift from impersonal sex, like boys have, to having sex like a man.”

This is so powerful to me because sex should be a sharing of oneself not masturbation with a partner.

The writer says it takes a long time to grow up sexually.

“Life’s most urgent question is, what are you doing for others?”
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Things have not be going so good lately. I have a very stressful job that keeps me caring for it like I have a child….it just takes a lot of attention, even when I am not there. Getting along has been hard. He has a job with crazy hours. Sometimes I feel like it’s a conspiracy. Anyway I feel like I have done everything to reach him, yet nothing to reach him…strange I guess. Of course it’s that sex thing…he feels loved when having sex, and I need more than sex to feel loved, this is just a symtom of the problem. Relationships take both people really wanting it, and willing to work on developing skills to make it work. Marriage takes maturity. I don’t have all the answers. I know I love him, and I know I want him to be happy and me too. So mostly I’ve been trying to make me happy…in the end no one can do it for you. And if your partner is unhappy maybe you can’t change that.

Grateful that my husband and I are working on our friendship
Listening to Wayne Dyer today speak on Gratitude: he said gratitude is Love. He spoke of Loving even the ordinary moments in life, better yet realizing their are no ordinary moments. Every moment is precious. It was nice because my husband and I listened together. He looked iritated at first when I popped the tape in the car, and then he really started to enjoy it, and I could see his heart open. It made me think how closed and tense and tired we are a lot of the time. Love can’t shine out of a closed heart. Wayne talked about how couples are always focusing on what the other person isn’t, and of course what you think about expands, he said to focus on the wonderful things the person is. NO PERSON is going to be everything you want, and further more you don’t need someone who is just like you or everything you want, you need to realize you have everything inside of you to be happy and at peace. You have everything inside yourself this helps me because I’m always wanting my husband to be something more instead of focusing on the things I love about him, and there are several things. Today was a good day and I’m grateful for the time we spent together today.

Dec 30, 05:50PM | Edit | Delete | Respond to this

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We had a nice time this weekend. I’m happy because I was angry with him and was not really speaking to him. Not good. Sometimes the stresses of life are all too much and I just have to be quiet for a while. He always reaches out for me though, I like that about him. He doesn’t stay angry, or after awhile he just wants to play and doesn’t remember why we were mad at each other. Sometimes I really see the perfection of us together. Anyway we’ve had a lot of good times together and I’m grateful!

We all want to be loved unconditionally. We do all sorts of things to get it. What if we could give love generously so that the person wouldn’t have to work so hard to get it. Real Love is really wanting to see the happiness of another.

I must remember how it feels to just hang out and be friendly. My husband was in a particularly good mood today. We went to the bookstore and hung out and talked and laughed and looked at the Kama Sutra books. He bought me my favorite tea, and we took a nice walk on Frank Sinatra drive at Hoboken. We laughed a lot I acted silly..and we listened to a Tony Bennet CD. But most importantly love was in the air. There was tenderness, and relaxation and comfort in the familiar. When we stop judging and criticizing and just be with the person without wanting them to be someone else, it’s nice.