be happy by myself

I realized that I completely obsessed about hooking up with the ex. It happened. No one is hurt. I dont know why I made such a big deal out of that.

I’m happy, healthy, more fortunate than many. I attended a wedding this weekend and had not a SINGLE thought of getting married. The guy sitting next to me at the reception was laying it on thick, telling me how successful he is…and I asked him questions and was polite and left without a second thought about dating.

I’m enjoying school, enjoying friends, enjoying my little home. I’m trying new things and I know God loves me and has not forgotten about me.

I’m consider this goal…achieved.

loss of control
its funny – empressjuju was wrting to commend me on self control while I was losing self control.

I hooked up with the ex. :(

I had to give a lot of myself away to so many people over the past few weeks but it had been so long since someone had emotionally put anything back into me.

I am not bottomless. While I have great capacity to love and help others, I am not bottomless.

He came around, its like he knew something was wrong…and we talked for awhile, he listened so well. It had been so long since I’ve been touched like that. My flesh took over…in the moment, it was all so….good.

And now? It was a dumb thing to do.

....sigh….

had a chance to “hook up” with an ex-boyfriend who I really dig physically…nuf said…but he’s not very good for me emotionally or intellectually.

I said no.

Reminding myself of why we split up in the first place….

I am happy with myself. Now I need to be happy by myself READ: dont get into relationships with men just to be in a relationship with a man.