find inner peace

...by surprise, but I realized tonight that I am at peace with myself and how I have come to see life. I feel free.

...that I need to think about: happiness needs depth.

Joy isn’t always at the finish line. Beauty is not always found in completion. The journey is often where true satisfaction lies.

I forgive you.

...for the first time in quite some time, that I am happy and at peace. No, I don’t have all the answers. No, I’m not perfect nor is my life perfect. Yes, there are dreams and goals and unobtained desires. Yes, there are still issues that I need to (and will figure out), but at this particular moment, I’m perfectly content to be me. I’m happy with who Josh is.

...filled me while meditating: If I can choose the thoughts that I have or don’t have, does that mean there is a me outside of my mind?

I have spent a lot of time engaging mushin lately, the Zen concept of “no mind”. It is a concept used frequently in many martial arts and warrior traditions, which is where I was first introduced to it. I have also spent quite a bit of energy learning how to utilize the Law of Attraction in the passed year, too. The LOA suggests (and I believe it) that our lives are simply a reflection of our thoughts and feelings, and that we can change our lives and our experiences by changing our thoughts and feelings.

So who is this, exactly, who is making choices about what to think and feel as if it’s a process outside of the mind… who is this who can exist in a state of no mind when needed? Perhaps my mind is just a tool the same as my body. Perhaps there is more to me.

Sometimes it’s not important to have answers. It rarely turns out the way we imagined it or gets there in the way we imagined it. Often we miss an open door because we spent so much time figuring it out that we were looking for the door to open in the wrong place. Instead we should just be open. Expectations and perceptions aren’t bad, but it’s important we have them instead of them having us.

Something I’ve learned is that you can only love others to the same extent you love yourself. If you’re not loving yourself, what you’re passing off is some fake substitute for love that often turns out to be a poison.

I choose love. :)

...only two things in this life that you can control: what you think and what you do. There is a great deal of control in those things, but in order to make the proper choices for our thoughts and our actions, we have to accept what actually is. Refusal to accept what is leads to making improper choices concerning our thoughts and deeds.

...been doing a lot of thinking the passed few weeks about what I want to do… not even necessarily for the rest of my life, because I’m not even sure there is anything I want or even should do for the rest of my life… but thinking about what I want to do next. I really don’t have a “real job” right now, and I’m fine with that. I have money saved up, and I have some ways of making money by freelancing in various ways of. But honestly, I get bored and I want something bigger to start working towards. I’m still going to travel and do a lot of the things I’ve always wanted to do, too, but I’ve been thinking about something, at least somewhat, long term. I’m hiking half of the Appalachian Trail this spring (and the other half next fall after I do a work project over the summer), but other than some traveling during the winter and my trip back to Haiti in 11 days, I don’t have any plans. So…

...my two current ideas are either: A. – Start a non-profit (not sure exactly what or where, but something with Haiti and/or the homeless are my initial reactions… though the passed few days, I’ve been thinking about a few other ideas, as well), OR: B. – Starting a business… I’ve actually been thinking about trying to develop a restaurant concept that would do well as both a stand alone business or as a potential multi-location concept. Both plan A and plan B would be rewarding in their own ways, both would allow me to meet my financial needs (though I’m sure my “salary” running a non-profit would be considerably less than if I had a restaurant), and both would be interesting to me. Just something to mull over during the next few months or year (I’d be finishing the AT about this time next year). Either way, I plan to continue writing (I recently got accepted to write a regular article about hiking and other outdoor related activities for a local magazine) and selling my jewelry.