know what i want out of life

I always thought that growing up meant knowing what you want out of life, but I’m starting to realise that that isn’t necessarily true. I know the fundamentals, like I want to be happy, I want to spend time with family and friends, and to enrich my life by reading books and visiting new places and having fun. Not knowing other things doesnt make me a failure, it just means I will work them out when the time is right, and thats good enough for me. The fun and excitment comes from not knowing whats around the corner.

I dont know what job I will be doing or where I will be living in the future, but I do know that I wnat to make the most of every moment by savouring happiness, spending as much time as possible with family and friends, and experiencing fun and adventure. I want millions of photo albums documenting these happy times so that I can look back one day and say I had a great life.

Ive got the opportunity to go for an interview for a job that I really really wanted to do when I applied for it 6 months ago, and that related to my dgree (the position is biomedical scientist) but I just dont know what to do as since then Ive started working as a dental nurse and am halfway through a 9 month college course.

If I were to be offered it would I want to take a leap of faith and leave job that I quite enjoy at the moment, but that pays peanuts, for a job that pays considerably more, but that I could hate. As there would be no way of going back to nursing as I would be unqualified.

After freaking out for a few hours and calling on the opinions of lots of friends, Ive decided to go for the interview, as I remember how excited I was about the job at the time I applied for it, and that beinga biomedical scientist was always part of the life plan and was the reason I went to university. My touble is I get comfortable and hate change as the unknown scares me. But im looking at it this way, what do i have to lose. If I dont get it, I still have a nursing job. On the other hand, the only way I can psyche myself up for this kind of thing to to convince myself I really want it, which then means I will be disappointed if im not offered it.

As you can see, im never happy.

I am so confused. My dream when I was younger was to become and scientist. I have always loved, and still love learning, which is what led me to undertake my biomedical science degree with the hope that in the future I would gain my masters and PhD and make my mark in cardiovascular research. I always thought that once I graduated it would be easy to find a job, but after a year I still hadnt got a job in my sector. This is where things started getting difficult. As I had been out of science so long, I lost absolutely all confidence in my abilities and began to feel as if I were incapable of anything. So now one part of me still wants the high powered scientist job, as it was always ‘the plan’ and I know I was capable and enjoyed it last year, whereas the other is worried that im just clinging to this idea as I feel I cant change my mind as my degree would have been a complete waste.