lose 10 kg

I wish I could say I found the solution to weight loss and could sell it to fools like me. What had to change for me was the relationship with food … food as something delicious and not as something that helped me over being sad, lonely or tired.

So for me of the one major big changes was to eat real food again, real meals, not salad, not diet food, but proper meals, while on the other hand completely cutting out snacks. And suprisingly I don’t need them anymore. I just look forward to the next real meal.

I know that this is not necessarily what the nutritionist would recommend, but it is what works for me. I now weigh less than any time I can remember, which means before I started being concerned about my weight sometimes in teens. This does feel good, but it doesn’t necessarily feel like an achievement.

My body does look better, my face on the other hand looks a bit on the harsh side. It would be great if you could chose where to lose it. The funny thing is that I actually find it harder to buy clothes that fit than with a few kilos more. I have always had the literal hourglass shape, which apparently clothes are not made for, particularly in small sizes. But I never liked shopping anyway :-)

Despite lots of very limited progress on most of my goals, this astonishingly is one where there has been quite a bit of progress. To be honest I am not a 100% sure at what wheight I started this goal, but it probably was around 67 kg or something. I picked the 10 kg pretty randomnly, not necessarily meaning it or thinking about how to get there. I am now around 58-59 kg, which is the same weight I had when i was 18, but now I am much more relaxed about it. The only bad thing is that I haven’t been exercising at all, which means there is still room for improvement when it comes to health issues.

I kind of lost track on this one. So I am around 61 kg now and would love to lose 5 more. I think however this second step will be harder. The first five went by cutting out sweets (not completely, but mostl) and snacking. To lose the next 5, I seriously have to change what I eat. So, we’ll see how that goes.

this morning… which means only 2.8kg more to go until I can mark this done. I have already reached a weight I last had at 18.

kg has disappeared and I can hardly believe. Yes, I did make some wiser choice on food and I pretended to cook a couple of times last week, but is this such a difference? Apparently. Now, I have the weight I last had before I started working, which was quite some time ago. This makes me feel so good.

I am down 3.5kg, so 6.5 to go to fulfill this goal. It already makes quite a difference at least in my eyes. The funny thing is that people seemed to notice the first kg much more than the others. Anyway, my old pants start to fit again, which is a nice extra to the looking and feeling better.

The only problem is that I haven’t really been eating healthy, but rather random due to work. I am sure the riding has helped as well and I’ll definitely keep that up.

I think I should really reconsider this goal. I’ve been the nearly the same weight (+/- 1,5 kg) for the last ten years. I have never been really satisfied with the weight, which is normal by all standards, but does not qualify for being really slim. So, I am not really happy with it, but apparently I haven’t been unhappy enough to really make an effort either. Having this goal on my list as a permanent goal makes no sense at all. So I should really think about whether I want to make an effort or just accept the way I am and continue to keep my weight as it is. There is no point in supposedly trying without really trying.

I haven’t been focusing on this and apparently it is something I need to focus on for it to work. I obviously know what to do to lose weight and the things keeping me from it are usually fun things and my own laziness (to a certain agree also my distorted relation to food, but anyway). So I’ve started focusing on this a bit a more and – as expected- it works, though I could always do more.

I am making good progress in cutting out sweets and candy. I did have some chocolate cake on Sunday, but that’s ok. It’s not something I usually do. What I really want to free myself from are the snacks and sweets I buy because I feel tired, sad or bored. I haven’t bought any of these for almost a week which seems like nothing, but is huge for me.

I went to gym yesterday, first time in weeks. It was better than expected. I was suprised I could run for 45 min. The only problem now is that I want to have immediate results. Even though I obviously know that is not how it works, I so want them to keep me going. Instead I am a pound up, which has several reasons and nothing to do with going to the gym. I know….