clavtriplet in Brooklyn is doing 32 things including…

figure out what i want to do with my life


 

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clavtriplet has written 2 entries about this goal

Becoming a believer

Its been a long time since i had the guts to get back on this site and look at my list of goals. The truth is, I just didnt want to face more disappointment. But im proud to say that now, i am on my way. I guess it takes a lot of disappointments, failures, and stress to get to this point but now that im here, i want to hold on to it as long as i can.

This is not to say that i figured out what i wanted to do – its that i figured out not to be so scared or indecisive to do anything about it.

Im one of those people who cant choose with so many choices, and for most of my life, I had other people push me into them. Now, Im making the decisions on my own, and its the hardest thing ive done in my life. All the responsibility falls on me and, I’ve got everybody else’s ideas of what i should working against me.

I have to keep on saying to myself, its my life, so my way. I want to be happy and this is how i am getting to it.



Impossible!

I really try to be good, but it seems I’m not cut out for this. Every day I wake up and I look at the people who seem so sure on what they are going to do with the rest of their life and I shake with jealousy. What enables them to figure their life out and not me? I want to scream just to release my mental pain. And yes, i do feel pain. Because, How can you wake up every morning and not have a purpose? What are you waking up for?

And, its not like i dont have options, I really do. Thats part of the problem. I can’t choose what im going to do FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE- its a very scary thought. What if i dont like it? or become a different (perhaps worse?) person because of it? What if i loose focus on whats really important in the world, like friends, love and family? And why dont i have the self confidence to figure this all out?

Yours truly,

Clavtriplet



 

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