loose weight

I went to a new gym yesterday. The scale said 131 3/4 with clothes on. I really believe my true weight is 130. I feel 130, my clothes are baggy and I feel much thinner. That is 10 pounds off of 140 and it sure took me a long time. I can’t slack now because I have 10 more to go. 10 is not that much but I hope I can get it off faster than 2 months. It seems like I can only knock 5 off per month. I’m feeling good about myself and the will power I’m pulling up. I’ve been listening to hypnosis tapes and that is really working. Just stuff I’m getting off youtube. Not one in particular just a bunch of them and I don’t remember the name of any of them. And it’s time, it’s high time I took it off. Lately I feel tired and weak. I’m thinking it’s my period. I will be satisfied when I look at the scale and it says 120.

The best thing for my weight loss it for me to stay off the scales. I see the scale and want to jump on ‘just to check’ but I’m jumping on at different gyms and it’s confussing and disapointing at the same time. I was 132 with clothes and then 136 with clothes on a few days later at a different gym. I gasped when I saw 136. Yesterday I drank tea and went to the bathroom a lot and today my tight jeans fit real well. I seem to hold water weight and I’m getting ready to start my period. I still have the strength to move forward on trying to loose this awful weight that had it’s hold on me. I’m thinking I’m really near the 130 mark. It has been lots of work and even more determination to get to 130. Years ago I would have felt obese at 130. So, only 10 more pounds to go and I can reach my goal. But that is only half, once I get there I have to remember to maintain so I don’t put it all on again in a hurry like the past yo-yos I’ve done. It’s like my body wants to stay somewhere around 140 but I have to reprogram and demand it stay around 120. My knees and other joints will feel much better and I will feel more like myself and not like fat has invaded me. I was very thin as a child and I think slender is what is real for me. I do not like the too thin look but I still have curves and meat at 120. If I reach around 115 my friends start to worry and I look ill. I’m 5/7 so 115 is really too thin anymore and I don’t want my face to hang. So today April 23 I’m thinking I only have 10 more pounds to go. I do realize that the last 10-5 pounds are the hardest to get off.

The way I’m doing this weight loss is working for me somehow.
Yesterday for breakfast I had 1.Bowl of rasin bran 2. apple 3. orange. 4. nilla waffers eight of them 9. a huge bowl of nachos with lots of cheese, glass of milk, peanuts, and mixed seeds & nuts. All in one sitting and all for breakfast and nothing the rest of the day.
How this works I have NO idea but that is how I lost weight in the past and it seems to be doing it again. Slow maybe but I get to eat anything and everything, it just has to be done in the morning.
I’m sure I’m around the 130 mark and I don’t feel deprived or weak or anything and I still have the strength to continue. I’m drinking at least 4 sixteen ounces of water a day, warm water and slowly..
Now after it’s off I want to keep it maintained and that will be my next goal after I get done with this.

I went to my regular gym and the scale was still broken in the ladies bathroom. I like to take all my clothes off and get the correct weight. I got on the public scale took my shoes off but had my clothes on so I’m thinking my true weight is close to 130. This one meal a day is working for me so far and I’m not hungry all the time and I’m trying to hypmotise myself into not eating so much.
The weigh coming off is fine, but to maintain it there is another story. Once I get it off I will not ever go above 125, it’s just way too much work to get it off.
I see my goal of being 120 becoming a reality. 12 pounds to go. Not bad and sure feels much better than having to say 20 pounds to get off. Yes 12 more that’s it and I’ve reached my goal. Not sure how long it will take me to take the 12 off but I have to admit it’s been lots of starting and stopping and praying and then something inside of me snapped and I just have to get this weight off.
I feel better, more energy, actually much more energy and I think my periods will not be so long and painful.

I’ve been reading a lot about fasting and other ways to loose weight, some of what I’ve been reading is making good sense.
Less calories, more exercise burns the fat. It’s starting to come off some and I will find out what I weigh this Sunday if they have fixed the scale at that gym. I really do not know my true weight but I’m sure it’s around the 135 mark. My size 6 pants that were tight a few months ago felt loose and I could be in them comfortably all day but a few months ago I would have to pull them off right away because the were biting into me.

Ok, eating like there is no tomorrow for about 4 days and then the good sense came back to me about control. Yesterday I did real good and today will be another good day with getting this extra weight off of me. I’ve been reading more about fasting and it makes sense to me and my eating style. The trouble is that I try to follow someone elses eating plan and it just does not work for me. I have to follow my own. For many years I stayed 118-120. I ate what I wanted but managed to stay that weight and I did not feel hungry or like I was missing something. Last night the scale said 138 1/2 with shoes and clothes on so I’m thinking I’m right around 136 for the real weight. Still way too much but at least I’m not into my 140s. That was really hard for me to take and I felt each and every pound of it. My clothes do feel better and I look better in the face. The extra weight just had to come off. It’s great to feel more fit, such a reward in itself. I’m going to win this time with my weight, it just has to go and I will not miss it and I will be glad to see my slim self back.

What a weird couple of days. Eating everything and anything I want and lots of it and then got my grip and said STOP the madness before I gain all the weight I’ve worked so hard to get off. I got on the scales at another gym yesterday with all my clothes on and it said 140. I’m thinking I’m at the 137 mark without the clothes. This yo yo is crazy. I can’t do this, I know I jumped off the wagon but now I’m putting myself back on. It has to come off. I’m NOT happy with a lot of weight. I hope I did not cause too much damage with my awful eating habits. Well at least I stopped myself before it got too out of hand. I need a self talk everyday to get myself back on track. It does not help when friends bring by all kind of good food and lots of cakes and other not healthy foods. Ok, back on board and want to get this weight off.

Last Sunday I gave a friend of mine a birthday party and ate 3 pieces of cake. The same friend came over last night with her boyfriend and brought an Italian Creme cake with her. I had 2 pieces and a large glass of milk. I did not sleep well last night and today I don’t feel well because of the sugars and the disgust I have for myself about this terrible eating. I know I control what goes into my mouth but I want to enjoy eating too. It was good, fresh and had coconut in it.
I kept feeling my hips like the cake went straight there. I never believed it when people said that it went straight to their hips but now I know what they are talking about.
I will forgive myself and get back to the loosing it wagon right now.

I made the mistake of jumping on 2 different scales at the gym. One said 139 with shoes and clothes and the other said 138. I know the scales do not get calibrated like they should. I’ve told myself to stay off the scales because when my weight is up I get so discouraged after busting my ass trying to get this weight off. My weight feels around the 130 mark, I can tell in my clothes. I have room in my size 6 pants, weeks ago they were tight. I can tell in my face and I just feel lighter so not sure why the scales say what they say. I need to make it a point to NOT step on them but twice a month so I don’t get so discouraged. Sometimes I think my body is so desperate to make fat that it will turn lettuce and tomatoes into fat. I’m having a battle with my own body but I will win. The fat has to go. I can’t carry it around on this earth anymore. It is weighing me down and I feel out of control that it’s hanging on like it does. I can move around much easier in holy ease without the weight. I really do not like the look of too thin either but the way my body is shaped and my bones I am NO WHERE too thin at 120. I’m actually just right for my bone structure and height. I feel better at 120 and sleep better. Some people and my parents will tell me I’m too thin but I know I’m not. I feel good at that weight.
My body has shifted and changed but I still want to get around on this earth not hauling around so much fat. Extra baggage I call it and my joints and organs would feel much better if I did not haul this stuff around.

Ok, I’m doing good I can feel it. I went to a new gym last night and got on the scale with clothes and shoes. 138.5. I screamed NO WAY! I drank a bunch of water and had a light meal. On Sunday I only ate one meal but 3 pieces of cake. The last real reading said 134 1/2 So how can I jump 4 pounds just by eating a lot of cake. I exercise hard, this is NO fair. I’m thinking it was water weight, clothes, heavier tennis shoes etc. Wish I had reliable scales but then if I weighed often it gets discouraging because the weight flecuates so much and then I would get very discouraged. I feel around the 135 mark. I thought if I ate the cake early enough I could work it off the rest of the day, guess I would have gained more had I eaten earlier. This loosing weight is quite a challenge and it’s a full time job with my slow metabolism. I really have to stay on top of it all the time. I have scales at home but I call them my kindness scales. They seem to weigh lighter than Dr. scales. Back to it again!