weigh 129

I believe if I get this goal in order the rest will fall into place because when my weight is out of order everything else seems to follow. I eat and eat and don’t think twice. I did not even get on the scale Sunday at the gym. I just felt heavy and my clothes feel tight. It’s time to get it back on working order again. Only with the help of Jesus and myself can I do this. Please God help me.

That is what the scale said after lots of Thanksgiving food and a huge breakfast and 16 ounces of water. The weight just is there I guess for protection or something. New year is coming, I need to get busy and take good care of myself. If I take great care of myself then I can take better care of others. Amen.

Weight today after eating breakfast and drinking 16 ounces of water.
It seems to be my set point. I have to beat this down and start to loose again. I think I will go to hypnosis and give this an honest try again. Weird why it’s hanging on.

I have figured out why I’m eating out of control and feel so horrible. I’ve been spending too much time around my bipolar friend and she went into a lying frenzie and it drained the living juice out of my system. Even though I know she is ill being around constant bullshit is draining and irritating. She has bills she needs to pay and just talks about traveling, going to exotic places and does not care that her bills do not get paid.
Being around that stresses me and I eat weird stuff. We decided to take a break and now I’m not as hungry. I’m a stress eater so my constant hunger will be better.
Now back to healthy living.

I’ve been eating so much junk. Sweets, chocolate if it’s not good for me, I’ve been eating it. Fat, feel bloated but still fit into my size 6 clothes. I need to have a good talk with myself again and get back on track.

My weight is so up and down. Menopause I guess. I feel heavy at this weight but not struggeling with a diet is good for me. I eat what ever and when ever I want, I just stay much more active and off the computer. I move around more so that seems to help. I really need to loose the weight. I’m sure hoping that one of these days soon I will be ready to give up this extra weight. I know a size 6 is a good size for me but my face looks heavy and I need to be a 2-4.

I stepped on the scale and took my shoes off and weigh 139, which means I have 10 pounds to loose to = 129. My stomach has been very messed with with eating a lot and fast. All that work I did to loose weight and then ate like there was no tomorrow. My body refuses to let me do that again. It is rebelling over stupid eating habits. Sometimes my body knows better than my spirit what is good for me.
I guess I have a build in mechanism that keeps me from becoming obese. It’s like I hit around 140 and my body can not take it anymore and acts up. I will soon be down to a normal size. I’m still a 6 but the 6 is tight on me.

My stomach is still rebelling over my over eating. This week my stomach has forced me to stop and think about everything I put into my mouth. I’ve been eating but small amounts here and there and my stomach does tollerate that much better. The sleepless nights are not worth the awful overeating. I know I’ve lost a little weight this week but do not know how much. Maybe it’s best if I don’t get on a scale so much because it can be discouraging.
I’m back to some kind of control. It’s awful to be out of control with eating.

I have to find out why I feel like an empty pit hungry all the time even after I’ve pigged out. My stomach is so messed up right now with acid reflux and gas from all the weird eating. Yesterday I did not eat anything past 2 P.M. and my peace and restful sleep came back. I got to sleep in this morning something that hardly ever happens. My stomach is sensative, in a way it protects me from becoming obese. I think my body will get a few pounds over weight but it rebells when I’m putting on too much weight. I just don’t feel good when I’m heavy. Heavy for me is a size 6, but for my bone sturture a 2 would probably be perfect, even at a 2 I will look like I wear a size 6.

Since I’ve fallen so off track lately my health has suffered. I’ve been spending a lot of time helping my bipolar friend. Her drama’s effect me in many ways but she is doing better. She is real thin and wants me to eat with her all the time. I’m not use to eating so much. I know I control what goes into my mouth but when it’s out and prepared and ready, I like to sit down and enjoy a meal. I have to loose this weight again it’s like yo yo wish it would come off and stay off. Watching what I eat is an everyday thing, no rest for me at this age or else I will be huge and I don’t want that ever.
A nice size 2-4 weigh 120 is what I’m after.