lose weight

I have lost a total of 10 pounds in the last 2 and a half weeks. I am so excited. With a combination of watching what I’m eating, exercising regularly and power yoga this lifestyle change is most definitely becoming a success. My program has changed my life!

Every time I try and do something good for my body it ends up screwing me over. My body sucks. I’m on this steroid and although it’s a great way for me with my breathing it makes me gain weight. The last time I was on it I ended up gaining like 40 pounds. I don’t want that to end up happening to me. How is that fair? I was talking to my stepmother about it and she said I was cursed. She’s completely right. I can try to be a positive person about this, but somehow I can’t seem to be. I’m afraid if even up on a treadmill I’ll end up in a hospital bed. Not cool. And if it wasn’t 8 degrees I’d go for a run. Sometimes I hate living in MA. Everyone keeps trying to give me advice on how to lose weight. I’ve been down this path a million times, but it just seems to be getting worse. It really sucks. I was in the best shape of my life a few months ago and maybe one day I’ll get there.

I hate being a stress eater and that’s all I have been doing lately since my grandfather passed away last week. One little thing goes wrong and I’m off my rocker with stuffing my face. Cookies, cake, bread, pasta. Anything you can think of I’m stuffing my face with. I know what I’m capable of when it comes to losing weight and I do so well when I get into the groove of things. It’s a matter of keeping the weight off. I keep reverting back to the past and I need to stop doing that. But, I miss the way that I look and I don’t want to feel this way about myself anymore. I need to lose weight for my health. My knees are starting to give me problems and my asthma as been really kicking in and I believe it is all linked to me adding on the extra pounds. The week before I found out my grandfather passed away and I finally was able to get to the gym and I felt amazing. I ended up losing 3 pounds and I know for a fact I ended up gaining it all back. I need to channel my eating habits and go to the gym instead of pigging out. No more excuses I’m tired of this.

Another day another pound that I’ve added. I’m just really not happy right now. I am so disappointed in myself because of what I’ve made myself out to be. This is me now and I hate it, absolutely hate it. I care so much and yet, at the same time I’ve given up.

And now here comes the new years resolutions to lose weight. I can just see it now. Of course it’s not just me. It’s at least half the world. We’re all unhappy about not losing weight or not fitting into this or looking bad in that. But, as always the media doesn’t help very much with this unsatisfactory view of ourselves. I will be one of the many this year to make an honest attempt and effort to lose weight yet AGAIN. Since I’ve been sick lately I have been unable to attend the gym or do any type of activity which makes me very upset. I’ve let myself go. I have never weighed this much in my life and i never want to be back in this situation ever again. I’m 170 pounds. For my height it doesn’t exactly look right. I want to lose 30-35 pounds. If I lose 2 pounds a week it’ll take me about 15-17 weeks to take off that amount of weight. This of course is a rough estimate, but at least it’s something to strive for. We’ll see in the weeks to come.

I feel absolutely amazing today. Well more so especially from last night’s gym session. I am building up my strength on the treadmill again. I can run 15 minutes without stopping. I’m trying to get back to running for an hour without stopping but I know it takes baby steps. I’m just so proud of myself that I am finally noticing results and feeling better about it. It’s hard to get back on track from falling off the horse.

The one thing I do need to work on is not eating the food at work. It’s the best Italian place and they have the best rolls ever. I could eat them all day. (Actually I do) So I’m working on not doing that and so far I’ve gone a week without snacking on them or taking them home with me. It’s the mini goals we set for ourselves that actually make the most impact.

I’ll shortly be moving up to 4 days a week at the gym. 3 days a week was definitely a big step for me. I’m seeing results and I’m sticking to what I’m doing and that’s all I can ask for.

i have exaclty 2 weeks to lose some weight before my fiance comes to visit. we are supposed to be going on a week long vacation to the beach and the way i have been feeling lately makes me think i’ll be sitting around my hotel room the whole time. i don’t wan to lose weight the unhealthy way but i want to lose weight and it’s harder than i thought. i have less motivation than i did a couple years ago. i will be going to the gym tomorrow and that means busting my ass. and hopefull i’ll see some type of improvement one day. i am very impatient and this weight needs to come off now.

this goal is so hard. i don’t know how i’m getting through it. i don’t really have anyone to work out with. well i did until she started dating a friend of mine. with eric not around it’s even worse. it sucks being in a long distance relationship and not having the motivation to get through it. i was on the south beach diet for a couple weeks but then i slowly fell off the wagon. so now i don’t know what to do. i’m so confused. i get on the wagon and somehow i get back off just as quickly as i got on. i’m the type of person taht needs someone to give me a swift kick in the ass. i would get a personal trainer but i don’t have that kind of money at the moment. i want to go back to working out 5 days a week and having that slim body with not an ounce of fat on me. i know i have to work really hard to get there but i’m impatient. i don’t like to wait for things like that. back then i did because i was more in shape but now i’m in my hole and i don’t feel like coming out anytime soon. i passed up the gym twice this week already and i can’t do it again. i just don’t know if i can do this all over again.

it’s so hard when you want to lose weight but sometimes you have obstacles in the way. but mostly they’re just excuses. i have been sick but now i would really like to start back up again. i might actually go tonight and that would be good. i should try and go for an hour and a half at least. i used to go to the gym 4 days a week for about 2 hours. i want to be back to doing that again. i want to feel good about myself. not feeling good about myself= feeling depressed= not going to the gym= not good. i don’t want that. i want my swimmers body again. i miss that. so i’ll try everything i can to get there.

I am seeing him in less than 24 hours and I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere. He keeps telling me even if you were 500 pounds I would still love you. That may be true yes, but I wouldn’t love myself. I like myself right now I just don’t love myself. I have my last chance work out tonight and it’s going to be a hell raiser. I hope I at least sweat some but I won’t try and kill myself over it. I don’t want to overdo it at the gym because then I’ll be sore and that won’t be good. I guess I just have to think positively….