i’m currently dreading going to work today. its like I already know how it will end. One of the the worst things is that I worry about my boss, and not doing everything fast enough to meet the deadlines.
its just too easy to do what I want, read blogs listen to videos and generally have fun. Beginning to feel guilty about what my co-workers are doing that i’m not.
One of them is a very dedicated worker and the other one is always saying that i’m never doing work. which is kinda true. I have to keep my incentives in mind!
Everytime I try to do this it goes to poop, and then it becomes an increasing frustrating task because I find it so difficult to achieve. I wonder about why it keeps happening and think i’ve arounded it down to a few things.
- I’m lazy
- I find the work boring
- I find the work frustrating
- There are much more fun things to be doing
LazyWhat are my incentives?
Yeah a part of me like anyone would rather just kick back and relax sometimes, and after working everyday the prospect of this becomes more and more appealing. I think laziness comes from a complete lack of motivation. It isn’t true to say there is nothing that I find motivating, so something about this isn’t getting me motivated.
- To produce something I’m proud of
- To gain the respect of my peers
- To feel in control of my work
- To prove I am capable
- To get better at what I do
To name but a few I could use. I really need to give these some more thought at some point.
The work does get dull, quite a lot. Mostly because i’m doing very similar tasks over and over. Perhaps if I always try and do them in a slightly improved way. Or mix up my work load. I can turn the tasks that I have to do into more rewarding ones. Its still tricky, If I find the very area boring.
Part of this is because i’ll get to a point in working were I can’t do much more to fix things, or it becomes unclear how to proceed. I get strange blocks, where the process of considering possibilities and making choice becomes a very difficult one and I lack confidence to make good choice quickly.
I have tried to make lists of what needs to be done, and having an outlining strategy. But it is when I run into problems that frustration strikes. I could really do with practicing good decision making skills in all areas.
So I have plans to do extra fun things outside of work, but considering that I spend most of my time in the same place doing the same work, It would be good if this could also be fun. Often It gets to a point where new exciting things don’t occur and there isn’t really any fun to be had in getting stuck on something. The only real fun is in getting things done, and that can sometimes be a difficult and long winded thing to do.