Stop picking my scalp

i have a really good tip for people that do it when they’re just spacing out at home or watching tv. i know that if i keep my hands busy they wont venture up to my scalp, so instead so i take a pair of scissors and i’ll cut any split ends i have in my hair (i have a lot). it’s not exactly a less gross thing to do but instead of harming my hair i’m actually making it a little bit healthier.

in the beggining of september i’d gotten my hair dyed and the woman at the salon may have messed up the chemicals because when i was getting it done they were burning my head. the next morning i woke up and my scalp was kind of “raw”. it had left all of these bumps and ridges on my head, so for some reason i picked it off. it was like being able to pick at a scab but no one could see the scar that it would leave. now it’s december and i can stop picking at them. every day ill tell myself
“this is the last day so i may as well go all out with it”
but i never have.
as many of you have described i’m also afraid to go to the hair dresser because im afraid that she will see or not even be able to re dye my hair.
i was in class last month and i had worn my hair up in a poof with a clip in the back of it when one of my teachers, who im on a friendly basis with, grabbed my head and said that i had a red spot where the clip was pulling my hair back and revealing the scalp. i was so embarrassed that i’d made up a quick excuse that i must have hit it or scraped it with the clip.
my friends notice when im doing it too. ill get bored when were watching tv or something and do it, and when they’ll question it ill tell them that i get bad headaches and massaging my head helps. i havent told any of them about this, i even think that it’s crazy so i can imagine what anyone else would think.
my glands behind my ears have be abnormally swollen… i asked my doctor about it, because i though that i may have been related to a new medication ive been on, but she said that it may be from a cut that’s been infected… so they wont be going down until i stop.
but after reading all of these stories and tips im gonna make a better attempt to stop. i’ve overcome a lot in my life and i think that it’s pathethic that i cant do this. i’ll deff. be checking back in if i stop. i’m going right to print out pictures of models with great thick hair and taping them to the side of my computer as soon as i get done posting this. =]