find my soulmate

Fallen hook… line… and sinker… again. Ech. This was far more fun before my feelings got involved. Oh wellz, at least he feels the same. Just gotta wait it out and see what happens :-) He’s totally awesome and worth it though. And adorable [blushies]

Met this guy at a friend’s birthday party and wow… He seems really interesting, and we have alot to talk about, and we chat quite often about various things. And for once I am not stressing like mad about my feelings, which is a step up. Just having fun flirting and stuffs, and he seems to like it lol. Which is weird considering this is the first time I am actually deliberately flirting with someone I like. He asked me out sorta the other day but I have plans for the day he wants to go =( But oh well we will see what happens next.

Your eyes, they swallow me whole
From your piercing gaze I choose my voice
But it gives it all away
I can’t hide, not from you
I can’t get away, you’re everywhere
You’re in everything I see
Your voice travels on the wind
It reaches me wherever I am
I can’t escape it
I’m a prisoner to it
Over the air we connected
Our songs joined, we flowed
The silence of our mouths
Just the music of out hearts
My inner voice forming the words
That my tongue refused to speak
But it’s not enough
I want to let you know
Have you any idea?
I feel I’m not enough for you
Yet too much at the same time
Would you understand?
I fear rejection yet seek it
Can I risk it all
To gain something amazing?
Life echoes a sense of eternity
I want to be your helper
Your inspiration
For the first time I want to fly
Far above this
Only for Him
But you make me strong in my weakness
You challenge my heart to hold on
In the quiet hours of the morning
You whisper your story
And become part of mine

I really hate this feeling. You know, the feeling of ambivalence where everything the person says is dissected ten times over, guy friends are consulted and many a hypothesis is constructed.
He has such an EFFECT on me, and I don’t know how I could let myself get into this position again – this position of vulnerability. You would think that I would have learnt my lesson by now. He just has to look at me with those eyes and my heart melts, and I have to try so hard not to let it show. But oh how I would love to. How I would love to look into those amazing eyes and let him know, effortlessly and wordlessly with one gaze. Is it too late for us? Is it too soon? Or am I just not in the picture? I would give up so much for him, and I know he would do the same, if only he would choose me… I feel so lost and confused in this mass of emotion I’m falling into. It’s so amazing and terrifying at the same time. Love is letting someone get close enough that they can hurt you, but trusting them not to. I’m hoping I can trust you hun, I really do.

yea, i DO know that its so clichè, but hey i told u i’m hopeless. i want to find the guy who accpets me for who i am, through the good and the bad, who listens when i talk to him, who will hug me when i’m sad, hold my hand even when it’s cold, stare into my eyes and tell me that he loves me, dance with me in the rain, cry with me, laugh with me, sing with me, rejoice in the Truth with me. who glorifies God with his heart and soul, and leads me along the road with him. the guy that i want to marry and spend the rest of my life with.