be a better listener

Over the years we have been married I have fell into the old watching TV or reading while “listening” to my wife tell me about her day. This is in the evenings after we have both worked all day. I would nod and be only half listening. This is a bad habit that can happen over the years of hearing about seemingly the same things over and over. I am not trying to make any excuses for this bad behavior just trying to understand how it can happen one small step at a time. Anyway, After seeing this goal “be a better listener” I have done some soul searching and have came to realize that I am missing out on a part of our relationship that I don’t want to lose. I have made a conscious effort to really listen. Put down the magazine or turn off the TV that I am not really watching either, it’s just noise that i thought was helping me to unwind from the day. Most of the time I was thinking about things at work that I needed to finish the next day. But now after only about a week of breaking this habit I am no longer half listening anymore. I am Really listening, making eye contact and participating in the conversation. I love my wife very much but that was never the problem anyway, it was just a “rut” that i was in and I am fighting to rid myself of it. Now when we talk in the evenings I enjoy it again. I am finding out that this is a better way to unwind from the day than staring at a magazine or TV. Also, I am coming to realize that my work is not all that I am. I am doing better at leaving work at work if you know what i mean. I may sound like a rambling old romantic but I highly recommend taking the time to REALLY listen to the people in your life that mean the most to you. It has made me a happier person.

Before I became so wrapped up in my work I feel I was a great listener. I catch myself acting like I am paying attention but I am not really listening. If someone takes time to stop and chat they deserve to be listened to. Because this has degraded over the years of my life it will be a challenge to get this turned around. I have started being a better listener at home. This will be a continual improvement project. Thanks for “listening”.