break-ups are usually ugly.
my most recent one was no exception.
but i had to end it. i had to get away from my partner before i do more damage.
i’ve been in both ends of the ‘break-up’ spectrum. i was both a ‘dumper’ and a ‘dumpee.’
this time, i was the dumper.
iw ouldn’t elaborate on the reasons because it would be unfair to him. he wouldn’t have any avenues to defend himself.
let’s just say that i tried to make it as clean as possible. less painful for him and i want us to be friends, not bitter exes.
i hope that he moves on soon. eventually he will, but the sooner he starts the healing process, the less painful it would be.
i am not happy that i ended the relationship, but i am relieved.
people commit to a relationship for a lot of reasons.
and one of the most common reason is: security
because going through life is crazy enough and sometimes we need someone or something to help us keep our sanity.
when we were kids, we had security blankets, our folks, our imaginary friends, our sandbox friends, we kept playdates and we went to birthday parties. things, people and events that acknowledge our existence.
when we grow up, we look to your friends, our jobs, our passion/s.
then we commit.
my relationships, romantic that is, are always based on one thing: security.
i wanted to go home every night to someone who could make me forget the day’s worries.
somebody who reminded me that i am loved and i matter.
but sometimes, security alone is a flimsy reason why you commit. there are other factors as well. like love.
can you stay in a relationship for security alone or love should always be in the equation?
what if you fall out of love but staying means that you would always have somebody who cares for you?
isn’t security a reason enough to stay?
i’m afraid i’m falling out of love. i know, i know being in a commitment is more than just being in love.
it’s a decision that you make everyday of wanting to be with that person.
i guess i just need to learn more lessons on relationship.
some partners use this card as an ace on their sleeves. so one has to prepare if ever they pull it out and you get caught by surprise. of course they don’t mean it, but that’s their way of keeping you, sometimes they just wait for your reaction once they say :’let’s just break it off…’
don’t come begging, but don’t be stuck up either, learn to make them understand that if they don;t mean it, then they shouldn’t say it…
being in a relationship and sharing finances could spell big trouble. unless the both you have laid out rules on how things are going to be. the best time to share your finances would be if you have been together for at least a year- well, that’s in my opinion anyway. :-)
nobody is really ready to be in a relationship. it just happens. you can prepare for it but then again, once it’s there, one can never really understand the complexities of a relationship. the emotional highs and lows of MY relationship makes me want to stop and take a breather from all of the madness. but i can’t. because i want to spend every minute with him, regardless of the emotional rollercoaster he is forcing me to ride. so there’s my dillemma. i need to ‘enroll’ in some relationship school just to keep up with things…