reach my goal weight

126.4

Ugh, no movement. Well that’s not entirely true. I went off my diet pretty terribly last weekend again while my mom was here – chips, guacamole, kielbasa, bread, crabcakes, fries – you name it. So again, the whole week was spent playing catch-up.

Luckily this weekend I have NOTHING going on, so I can finally try to forge through and keep things up. Of course, the weekend isn’t off to a great start – last night I went out for drinks and again went off a bit. But considering that, I was surprised to find that I hadn’t gained even more weight.

Dieting is really running my life though, it’s terrible. I’ve been really busy at work, so I don’t get home until at least 6:30 or 7, then I have to go for an hour walk and sometimes prepare my meals for the next couple of days (which always takes longer than anticipated). I feel like I haven’t seen my husband, or anyone else for that matter, in ages. My life is so focused on work and diet that I don’t have time for much else these days. That’s part of the reason I had to go out last night – my friend invited me for drinks and I owed it to my social life to take her up on it.

I know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m still totally disappointed that with two weeks left in my diet, I still have 16.4 pounds to lose – pretty much un-doable at this point. Which means I either have to sacrifice goal weight for now, or stay on the diet for longer.

On the plus side, even though I’ve technically only lost a few pounds, I’m feeling a little better about the way I look. It’s probably more psychological than anything. In a way, I like being on a diet because I feel healthy and in control. Most of the time when I do go out, I’m sort of heartbroken when there isn’t much on the menu that I can order, because at this point I like staying on my diet. Sure, I have cravings, but I seem to be able to get through them for the most part. I like the feeling of eating a meal and NOT feeling gross and over-full afterwards.

Now if I can keep up that attitude in my post-diet life, that will get me pretty far in staying at my goal. If I ever get there.

Weight today: 126.4

I’m really bummed, I’m only down .6 pounds this week, for a total of 3.6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. True, that’s not really anything to sneeze at, and I did go off last weekend, but this diet is really aggressive and has worked so successfully in the past that I was really banking on faster progress than this.

I’m not throwing in the towel though. My mom’s coming this weekend so I’m definitely going to go off it, but I won’t go hog wild. And Monday I’ll start fresh again. There are a few tweaks I can make with exercise and the particular things I’m eating, so hopefully once I make those changes I’ll start to see some increased weight loss. I have 3 more weeks left in April, which probably won’t get me to my goal no matter what, but hopefully it will get me close.

I’m down 3 pounds since I started on Monday! Current weight: 127

Halfway through day 3 of my diet, and I’m doing well so far. I’ve been following it almost perfectly (except for the fact that I didn’t know sugar snap peas weren’t allowed, oh well). Other than that, no sugar, no salt, drinking 100oz of water, eating all my meals, and haven’t weighed myself. I’ve even given up coffee!

The one thing I forgot about dieting is how slooooowly the time goes. Every minute I’m not eating a cheeseburger, or drinking a beer, or even sprinkling a little salt on something is excruciating. Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But temptation is definitely all around me at every moment.

I also feel really tired, probably because my body is adapting, and let’s hope it’s got something to do with weight loss, because I know in the past when I lose weight quickly it can mess me up a little.

This weekend will be a big challenge, I’m going to my parents’ for Easter, so I know I’ll be going off the diet, the question is how much.

I know I keep flip flopping about how to go about losing this weight, but I started my real diet this morning. I decided that I don’t want to screw around and have summer be in full swing by the time I lose any weight. So I’m taking the month of April to buckle down and git ‘er done.

The diet that I’m on – the 6 Week Body Makeover – is a tough one, but I’ve had great success with it in the past. In a nutshell it involves eating lots of little meals throughout the day, lean protein (like chicken and egg whites), lots of veggies, and small amounts of healthy carbs like rice. Oh, and absolutely NO added fat, sugar, or salt. So basically it’s a flavorless drudge for the most part, but it does the job. I haven’t really done it in earnest for ages because it takes so much work and you basically just get sick of eating so much. And having a husband who likes to go out a lot and eat junk food doesn’t help the effort.

So my approach is to just look at it as an opportunity to not worry about food for the next month. I prepare a big batch of stuff twice a week, and then I don’t have to think about it. I can come home, pop my dinner in the microwave, and be totally done with dinner in ten minutes, which allows me to move onto other things. Sometimes I feel like half my evening is spent deciding what to make for dinner, and by the time the dishes are done it’s like 9pm, and what am I going to do really get done in that one measly hour before bedtime? This diet, while a little grueling, will allow me to focus on other aspects of my life every night.

I’m still sticking with not being obsessed with my actual weight, and not weighing myself daily. I don’t want to stress about it and give up prematurely if I don’t see immediate results from the scale. In my younger (read: faster metabolism) days, I was able to lose twenty pounds in a month on this diet, so we’ll see how this time around treats me. I would love nothing more than to go into May feeling ready for shorts, tank tops and bathing suits.

Wish me luck! I’m going to need it.

...of eating salads, veggies, and bland chicken with rice and not seeing the scale budge, I give up for a while. Not give up on reaching my goal weight, but I realize that it’s like that old saying, a watched pot never boils. Weighing myself every day is not getting me anywhere. I don’t know how to be any better than I’ve been, and I haven’t lost even a tenth of a pound. So I’m going to try just eating healthy and exercising and not thinking about it too much. I’ve been on enough diets to know what “healthy” means, so I feel comfortable with that. I’ll weigh myself once a week, or less maybe, and just go by how my clothes feel for a while. My goal is still 110, because I feel like that would be a good weight for me, but that’s too far away at the moment to get bogged down with that number.

Before I got married, I was so crazy with buying a new house and moving and planning the wedding that I couldn’t diet or exercise even. A few weeks before the wedding I was so bummed and angry with myself that I hadn’t put more effort into losing weight. Then I happened to put on this pair of jeans that was usually tight, and they were hanging off me. I just said, “Whoa…when did this happen?” So this is my theory for how to best lose weight – stop being obsessed over it.

So let’s see if I can resist the temptation of the scale for now.

I need to lose 20 pounds to get down to my goal of 110. That doesn’t seem all that terrible, I’ve done it before. But here’s the thing. My big idea back in February was to shoot for 7 pounds a month, which would put my at my goal weight by May, just in time for tank tops and shorts. Well that didn’t happen. Now I’m 1/3 of the way through March with no progress. So at this point, do I stick with eating healthier and getting more exercise and losing the weight at a slower rate, or do I just batten down the hatches and go on my tried and true 6 Week Body Makeover diet? The latter option is pretty hard and takes a major commitment of time and willpower, but will probably get me to my goal in only one month instead of 3 (or more) of just regular eating healthy.

Such a dilemma! Buckle down and get it over with, or take the easier slow route?

I’ve been avoiding the gym like the plague, but I finally just feel like I can’t stand the sight of myself anymore and bit the bullet. I knew it was time to go, because lately I feel so bad about my weight and lethargic that it’s affecting every area in my life. When I’m at home, I don’t want to do anything but sit around, partially because I don’t have the energy and partially because I literally just can’t stand the way my clothes feel on my gross body, so the less I move the better.

The great thing about going to the gym is that I feel energized when I come home, like I can take on the world, plus I’m more likely to eat a healthy dinner, rather than ruin my efforts with something fattening. So I came home and made myself some grilled chicken, rice and green beans.

Now here’s hoping I can remember this feeling the next time I’m dreading the gym!

I feel like the scale and I are arch nemeses. I have literally started to think of it as this creature that is against me, that sets out every day to foil my success and happiness. Every morning when I pull it out, I have this moment where I’m like, “Alright scale, you sonofabitch, are you going to cause trouble today??” And indeed it does, because I have been ridiculously good on my diet and every day the same damn number stares me back in the face. 127.0. It’s so final, there’s no jaunty swaying back and forth like an analog scale. “HEY KATE!! Maybe you’re 128…or maybe you’re 126, but who cares?” My new digital scale is incredibly stern-faced and unforgiving. “NO. You’re 127.0. Get used to it.”

I’ve been 127.0 for two days. Before that, I spent three days at 127.2. Now, when you’re stuffing your face with bland chicken and vegetables, passing up every sweet treat that comes your way, just saying no to bread and salty snacks, that’s a painful feeling. The problem with getting on the scale and weighing 127.0 AGAIN is that it’s an excruciating and interminable 24 hours until I get back on the scale and try to beat my score. So I just have to bide my time throughout the day, waiting impatiently for my chance at a rematch between me and the scale, during which time it’s sitting there in the bathroom probably laughing a very sinister laugh at me.

You may have won this round, Mr. Scale, but I’ll be back tomorrow.

I’ve taken a different approach to losing weight and am back on track now with 13 more pounds to lose.

One thing I always forget about dieting is what a big difference a few pounds makes on both my body and mind. I’m only down a few pounds, but my clothes are fitting a bit better already, and I’ve stopped feeling like such a slob.

The downside is how slowly the days seem to go when I’m dieting.