buffalosnowangel is doing 5 things including…

stop picking my face

72 cheers

 

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buffalosnowangel has written 36 entries about this goal

Day 5

Needless to say, I didn’t make it through yesterday without picking.

Death tends to have that affect.

I’m starting over though and hope to be pick free through my surgery.



Day 3: Holding strong

In the last 3 days, I’ve picked two pimples. Both white heads, and no more. I only did those because they were at white head stage (“mature”) and were incredibly painful.

Tomorrow, I’m determined to have a 100% pick free day for the first time in years...here goes!



So far: Decent!

I’ve found that the nights are the hardest times for me. During the day, my hands will wander up to my face, but the instant I start to pick, I manage to realize it and stop.

The nights however, are a different story. Actually, my downstairs bathroom it seems. At night, I go in there and the mirror calls to me…almost like I’m hypnotized. I go in there to just use the bathroom (so I don’t end up waking my mom by using the upstairs bathroom), and totally forget about that and pick for a half hour – it’s ridiculous!

Last night, I went in and refused to look at the mirror. I reminded myself of my goal, and just went in, used it, and walked out (after washing my hands obviously!) Then I washed up and went to bed.

For a first day, not so bad! I don’t think I truly ‘picked’ once. I may have scratched at a scab or two though, so I’m not counting it as pick free.

But so far today, I’m pick free! :)



Mini Goal

Thinking about one of my other entries (about dodging a small bullet) made me think about this goal too.

The odds are, if I’m kept in the hospital (even just overnight) I’m going to end up seeing my boyfriend’s mom – who works there.

The last thing any girl wants is to run into their (potential) ‘in laws’ looking like crap…and I know that even though I won’t be able to shower for a few days, I would feel better at least knowing that my acne looks a little bit better.

So, I’m going to make a really big effort to not pick for the two weeks up until then. I know that I’ll have setbacks, but I’m going to try as hard as I can to push through and keep my hands off my face.



Sigh

Awful picking fest last night. I think the stress finally got just got to me. I actually have done really well in the last two weeks considering all of the stress going on…but last night it pretty much snapped. :(

Oh well, I get to start again today.



not too shabby

Surprisingly, I’m doing alright with this goal!

I say surprising, because with the huge influx of stress, it’s a miracle lol Maybe I’m finally getting a hang on it?

To be fair, I still occasionally pick. Last night was an epic fail. I had an anxiety attack and kinda flipped out and picked like my face was bubble wrap :( But, as soon as I could chill out, I stopped.

I also think that my face products (which I’m kind of falling in love with) are helping. Even when I do pick, they help to do damage control. Which isn’t the greatest for making me stop, but because my face isn’t so red and inflames, I don’t feel the urge to pick quite so much.



Start to 2011 semi-fail

I started this year with high hopes that I would not pick starting January 1st.

Unfortunately, that was quite a fail. The past 4 days have had something pretty awful/stressful happen every day and, needless to say, I picked.

Although, I am getting better and stopping myself when I do. Plus, we’ve started a mini support group to help us stop. Unfortunately, when I pick it’s pretty late at night so I don’t want to wake anyone up with my 911 texts LOL.

(P.S. anyone who has this goal and would like to join our team, I’m not sure how to do that lol so message me and I’ll invite you!)



I wonder...

if I would do any better with this goal if I didn’t live at home.

My mom and I get into it a lot, and to keep myself from getting in her face, I pick. It’s a release for me that allows me to take my anger out on myself and keep calm to other people. Not exactly healthy, I know.

She can be an exceedingly cruel person, and she makes me often feel bad about myself…which makes me take my frustrations out on myself.

Examples: Today, I didn’t take out anything for dinner…her words to my sister? “She should know better, she does it all the time.” My sister has a concert tonight and I don’t feel like going? I get the silent treatment and her slamming doors. When I got out of the hospital for appendicitis, the doctor told me not to lift anything heavy (shoveling snow, carrying boxes) so she goes to me “Now you’re completely useless to me.”

I don’t yell, I don’t cry…I wait until people go to bed, then I pick until I feel better.

Either way, I’m debating making this a 2011 resolution. I’d like to stop because it’s just one more the she likes to make me feel like a failure over. (I want to stop for me, but it would help to have her off my back for at least one thing.)



getting down about this

Stress from what’s going on with my grandparents is killing me with this goal! My grandpa is in the hospital and they’re trying to organize all of their stuff to get him into a nursing home, which he’ll be moved into probably on Christmas (lucky him). It’s incredibly stressful because new things happen every day, and it’s a lot of stuff to try and get done all in a couple of days from a great distance. So there have been trips to attorneys and stuff to try and get things together.

Plus, my boyfriend just decided to go Christmas shopping yesterday and blew our budget, so now I have to go shopping two days before Christmas. I am not happy.

So yeah…stress had been killing me and I’ve been trying not to pick (and done a decent job) but it’s been my source of stress relief for ten years. I’d hoped to keep my hands off of it for Christmas, but with the stress it’s not going as well as I hoped.



hospital drawback

I was doing better at this, but I pick under stress and being in the hospital was very stressful. Now my face looks like a minefield. I look at it, and I can see scars that are probably never going to heal now that my skin’s getting older. It’s awful but I just can’t seem to stop it.

It’s been getting better since I’ve been home, and I’d like to try one more round of the starter acne kit that I’ve been trying. I think it’s been helping when I can keep my hands off of it (which I was until I was hospitalized).



buffalosnowangel has gotten 72 cheers on this goal.

 

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