read (and understand!) lacan, foucault and althusser

I’m willing to give this a shot, although I’m very dubious about Lacan. I’ve tried reading him before without much success.
There’s a hilarious bit in the documentary on Slavoj Zizek (Zizek!) where he gets accused of being dogmatically Lacanian, to which he replies : “But I AM a Lacanian!
I am a CARD-carrying Lacanian!”. (This really rolls off the tongue quite nicely if you say it with enough vigour.)