control my drinking

The night before (Saturday), I had a bit too much. Not TOO much, just too much. About 5-6 glasses of wine over several hours. But I slept like hell and felt really crappy most of the day.

But the interesting thing is that I had NO desire to drink. But it wasn’t a conscious thing most of the night. It was like some days you want tea, other days it never occurs to you. That was me last night with wine. It felt nice!

Part of me wonders from time to time if NOT drinking at all would be a good idea. Hmmmm, we’ll see. It would be hard because so many people around me drink. But you know, there are others that do it….

Since no one is posting here really (prejzki, are you still here?), I’m just going to post when I want and never worry… LOL!

Tonight I had two glasses of wine. I wanted another, but felt that buzz coming on – that buzz that wants to be fed more. And more. So I read “stop drinking” and made some tea.

Drinking, as I said to someone, is a slippery slope for many people. Having one isn’t an option. Or stopping at two isn’t one.

I want so badly to be someone who can control my drinking. Someone who CAN stop at one. Or two. And not go further…. So far, I’ve done well, but I can see that it’s going to take constant vigilance. If I’m not careful, my tolerance will go up – and so will the amount I’m drinking.

I think I need to get into writing what my goals are. But I’m seeing now that I want to avoid that. I like to drink – I like drinking very much. But I don’t like drinking too much.

My goal needs to include not drinking several days a week, not just less than X each night. I can avoid getting drunk, I now know. But can I avoid drinking every night? I’m not sure.

And if I can’t, what’s the answer?

I was on “stop drinking”, but now that I’ve (mostly) accomplished that, I really want to keep my drinking under control. (If you want to see my story, to that that goal.)

My thoughts:

- I am SO glad I did “stop drinking” first as opposed to just trying to cut down. By doing that, I really re-evaluated my drinking:
Was I an alcoholic? Nope, I don’t believe so. It wasn’t easy to cut it out for a few days, but it became almost second nature. And when I started drinking again, it wasn’t hard to keep it under control.
Was I truly drinking too much? Yup! 5 glasses of wine – or more – a night is definitely too much. I’m not sure what is a good amount to be drinking and I may still be drinking too much, but it’s not WAY too much
What effects does not drinking have on me – long term? I sleep MUCH better, I get SO much more done, my skin looks a ton better and I just overall have more energy.

- My goals? I’m not sure yet. I know it needs to be drinking just a few nights a week instead of every night, though. But I’m keeping it to 3 glasses or fewer now – and not having any problem doing that, surprisingly! Last night – only 1 glass.

I have more, but dinner is ready and I must feed my hungry girls! :)

Tonight I will control my drinking!