learn to forgive

oh boy, after dealing with the X a few weeks ago. i don’t know if i can ever forgive her. i think i just took several steps back in my meditation training. crap.

i had tea with an old girlfriend that i hadn’t spoken to in 4 years the other night. our relationship ended rather badly, mostly due to me (why am i so full of anger). it was really good talking to her and it felt good to tell her that i wished things had ended better with the both of us. and i made realise that i was carrying all this anger and resentment for her all this time for no reason at all. i am stupid like that. so i’m learning. but now that my current relationship has ended i find it hard to apply everything i’m learning to it. maybe cause it’s still relatively fresh, though is being over for 2 months considered fresh. boy is this hard.

i am trying. boy is it hard. but each day it gets a little better.