Stop Drinking Alcohol

I acknowledge that I slipped on Tuesday night; however, I did not drink anything at all last night. The discomfort I felt while drinking was phenomenal. This will be a prime motivator to stay completely away; I thought the top of my head was going to pop off, due to congestion.

I had some beer last night, not a whole lot, and developed the worst stuffy nose. How weird. This is a stumble, not a stopper. I’d been talking to my cousin, who used to be one of my running buddies. My drinking is most certainly not her fault. I let the emotions and thoughts talk me into drinking. Again, I didn’t have enough for a real runner, gotta show I’m in control after all . I will look at the bright side, I have only had beer once in 10 days and the residual effects were minimal. Excelsior!

I don’t miss drinking, but I do feel ansty all the time. Interesting, that. I am working on my bike, some brake problems, then I will get on it and ride. Missed yoga today but will go tomorrow.

Although I spent the afternoon at my mother’s (the woman is a nut job), I am still holding steady. I am in a better mood than I usually am after a command performance.

yippee, I say. one whole week. sounds pathetic, I know, but hey!

I will never know whether I have acheived this goal. The artificial goal I will give myself is three months alcohol- (free?, less? deprived? okay probably not the last one). I have six sober nights behind me. This is pretty good, considering I haven’t gone without drinking more than a couple of nights in years. Unfortunately, I started drinking at 15, because it let me fit in with other people, and started drinking regularly at 17 because I could get a hold of wine. I did not drink during either of my pregnancies. I have not had a significant period of sobriety since 1995, when I took 43 credits in two semesters, and got a 3.75 GPA – the highest in my college career.

I did not journal last night – neither did I drink.

As it says in the title. Minor melt down early this afternoon. And I am not sleeping well. I am pretty antsy. Although there is heavy smoke in the air from wildfires up north, I think I will go out on a drive tonight, just shake it loose.

Okay, I seem to be past the physical doldrums of coming off alcohol. It doesn’t take that long in part because I can’t drink as much as many people do (being female and short). Now come the self-recriminations and basic, “I wanna beer!” Tonight is the first time that has hit hard. I was making a fresh tomato basil sauce for pasta and up popped, “a glass of wine would be nice.” I finished making dinner but I have been in a funk since. Fortunately everybody went off to do things so I can sulk in peace. I will be fine in a little bit.

Okay, I can go to the health club on MW at 9 a.m. and TTH at 7:45. Man, I love summer vacation! I’ll worry about autumn when the time comes. As for the yoga; I can’t get to today’s class. Thursday woud be the day to start; however, I am torn. If I start tomorrow and am sore, I may talk myself out of going Monday. On the other hand, perhaps I should start tomorrow anyway. What a waffle.