One of my daughters is oh-so-much like me. She worries far too much about receiving approval from the adults in her life and lives in terror of making a mistake or mis-step however small. For myself, I fell into the trap of thinking that to protect her I had to make sure that her teacher liked her and appreciated her and would ensure that she lived up to her academic potential.
Pshaw! (I’ve always wanted to say that…)
Au contraire! I need to teach my daughter to believe in herself over the adults around her. The fact is, many things that don’t make sense to my daughter, are indeed nonsensical. Many rules are arbitrary—for the convenience of the adults. She needs to follow those rules, but I want her to continue to do it under protest: never forgetting that she is right when she thinks that the rules don’t make sense or when she thinks the teacher is not being fair. I want her to learn on the one hand that life isn’t fair and that she can’t always get her way, but on the other hand neither of those facts invalidate the truth of her convictions. I want her to learn how to keep her flame burning even under water. She is a very smart, independent kid, and I know she can do this and be a lot better off that I ever was.
