Fall in love

alright so tommorrows sweetest day, which im sure is some day made up by some company but it who cares right?
anywho, the school has this thing where you can send someone a chocolate or a flower and i sent her a flower…hope she likes it =D and yea just thought id write that =P.

oh and ive noticed that lately iv been waking up randomly bout an hour before my alarm clock would ring and then id just start thinking about her...idk, random right? this has happened two days in a row, i think im excited to see her...i wish i could see her in the morning, usually i see her after second hour =( idk maybe if im lucky il see her tommorow morning =) anywho yea...

so its hard to believe it but im here on the outside of it all happy and wow. im really happy with how it went! =D.

okay so homecoming right?um she has a date, and that bummed me out big time, but i still had fun. i mean im sure thats what she’d want. but uh so apparently my friend told her that i liked her and well she didnt believe it!!he told her that she should date me and her date was standing right next to them while he said this fumming!! i of course was just trying to dance my troubles away, but turns out that she liked me alot and she kinda diched her date and had the last dance with me =D and yea. So here i am two days later writing about it and yea. i still cant believe that she didnt believe i liked her!! i mean wow!! how could i not! id be a fool not to! but yea thats the update =D alls well

okay so i notice that whenever i get near this girl i always feel like just pulling her tight to me and kissing her, i dont know. i just get this overwhelming feeling of wanting her near me, and just having her forhead againsnt mine and looking her in the eyes, i dont know what it is but god its a really great feeling and i hope i can act on it someday…not sure when. Hopefully soon =)

well i thought about it and i think im goin to go after her…i cant see myself giving up, just not yet.like they say no pain no gain. i cant go my whole life not giving someone my all because im afraid that il get hurt, that isnt fair to me or the person i have feelings for to not give them all i have because of my fear for something that everyone must go through, no thats just selfish. im giving it my all, regardless of the pain it may cause because i know that i will possess her heart.

i have a question for anyone out there willing to answer. okay so, its probably nothing but i dont feel that way, read on!!
i mean i KNOW its probably nothing, but i dont FEEL like that…its stupid. So the girl i like and have been getting to know got a date for homecoming, obviously not me since im writing this =P, and im not sure if it means anything.

In my mind i know this girl didnt say anything like i totally like you…well actually now that i think about it she kinda did =P dont know if it counts but when we’d be hangin out with a bunch of friends she’d just be like i like you, and then quickly say i was joking, just kidding, and she did this a coupla times dont know if that means anything..i hope it did =P.

but anyways she never really said it said it you know? but i guess im alright with it in my mind but well, for lack of a better word look out this is gonna be corny, but in my heart i feel kinda torn, like i care way more than i should(or is it just more than i think i should?). Well i resolved these feelings but when i saw her again today they kinda came back and well i asked myself am i willing to let myself fall for her and well my answer was no, the first thing in my mind was a blaring no.

To be honest i think i just dont wanna get hurt, i mean ive barley gotten to know her and i already feel hurt over the littlest of things...what happens if i really get to know her? if i fall for her? how much will it hurt then? i dont know, i guess its probably one of those things where the risk is worth the reward...sheesh feelings are such hard things to get!! sorry for the novel =P

right so right now im in that getting to know each other stage with this girl and i gotta say i really like her, i mean she’s super awesome. now im not saying its love or anything cause it is way to early to tell, but i think a great relationship can come of it guess we’ll see. i swear its crazy i just find myself sitting on the bus and randomly smiling and start to think of why im smiling then i realize i was thinking about her, whenever i think of her i can’t help but smile…now im only 18 but from what i know that can’t be a bad thing =P well we’ll see how this whole thing goes