stop caring about what other people think of me

these cds that are on people pleasers, i know I have that habbit. trying to please everyone. you just can’t please everyone all of the time, and u wind up streaching yourself thin. I started listening to the cds.

After 2 days of thinking I should write about what is going on. All that I can say is that I am 29 almost 30 yrs old and back at my mom’s house. I feel like a failure…a joke….not too good. I was really doing good for awhile there. accomplishing things, making progress. it seems as though none of that matters now. i know i am just depressed, i have good reason to be. i lost everything that mattered the most, except God. someone once said life is a journey not a destination. i don’t like the road i am on right now. it’s dark, cold and uncertain. there are many paths. i feel as though i am in a forest and have no breadcrumbs to fallow. i made a new acct for dial up, i hate dial up but it’s better than nothing. i have a roof over my head and a few dollars. i will make it i know God is with me. he is in control. i just have to believe in my heart that everything will work out. i am trying pretty hard not to feel sorry for myself, i don’t know what stage i am in anger, rage, sadness, grieving, all i know is i am lost and i do not feel as though i make any sense. i just feel like everyone around me is laughing at me, even though i don’t think i did anything wrong. i thought everything was ok. i was wrong. sorry to ramble.