teach a college class

one of b/f’s screwed up college friends is going back to school to become a history professor. I’m getting his email addy tonight so I can talk academia. b/f says its because said friend can’t function in the real world that he NEEDS to teach college. I know faculty get pretty far into their own little worlds….I tiees the shoes of one of the philosophy prof’s for him every day because hes afraid he didn’t do it right. And he lectures me on the pros and cons of choosing the correct brand of organic milk while I’m down there on the floor. My favorite Spanish prof. goes on about how she orders her shoes online because she won’t wear leather….but she can’t find post-it notes in the office supply catalog. Ahh beautiful tunnelvision how I covet thee!

I just really want to share what I’ve learned about the world. I don’t know that I’m an expert at anything, well at least anything that is part of a normal college curriculum, I’m an expert stalker. Maybe teach “Anecdotal Tips on Life 101” I’ve learned that a lot of what was taught to these kids in high school was just plain factually WRONG. And of what was correct all the good parts have been left out. I’m extremely well read on a variety of obscure subjects. I just don’t want it to take another 10 years or more for these students to “get it”. Plus I love to talk. I want to teach them to have meaningful goals, to have consideration for their fellow man, to remember to breathe, to fly by the seat of their pants, to see what can actually be accomplished at the last minute. I remember a test I was given in high school once…maybe you took it too. It was a big long sheet of paper jam packed with lots of words and a billion questions. We were told it was a timed test so everyone took off in a hurry. The instructions said to read the whole test before dong anything else. The first question was “write your name at the top of the paper” then it went on for a while with a lot of impossible general knowledge questions, enough to make your brain bleed. The very last question was: “Disregard all but question #1” Very few people passed. If you’ve never seen this test, well you just had to be there. These kids scrawled all kinds of crap up and down the page, in the margins, asked for scrap paper….begged for more time to finish….and then thumped their heads on the desk when it got to “disregard…..” I want the chance to give somebody that test and to discuss the answers.