own a velvet fainting couch

This is perhaps due to a lack of appropriate furniture on which to faint. Or because noone has been able to pull the lacings on my corset tight enough. Or because I have a strong stomach and am not easily shocked. Or because I’ve found betterways to be mellow dramatic. Regardless, I still want the couch. Maybe someone might need to faint in my presence (actually this really won’t work for me, if its my damn couch I want first dibs on it). I always lounge on my regular couch with at least one leg tucked up under me or in full prone posture. I like to lounge. I need a better place to lounge. A non-velvet fainting couch is pointless. Maybe I should just start by buying smelling salts….they’re cheaper.