live authentically

Listen to my song,
And if you want to sing along,
It’s about where I belong

TEXAS

Sometimes far into the night,
And until the morning light,
I pray with all my might,
To be in

TEXAS

It’s where I want to be.
The only place for me.
Where my spirit can be free.

TEXAS

It’s where I want to be.
The only place for me.
Where my spirit can be free.

TEXAS

Listen to my song,
And if you want to sing along,
It’s about where I belong

TEXAS

_{lyrics by Willie Nelson}

I have spent the last 2 years crying all most every day about something. Tears well up from out of no where at the least expected time.

I am making the choice to be happy right now where I am with my life. I am not going to live in the past any longer. That is over…thanks for the memories.

Today will be tomorrow’s good ol’ days. So I am going to make bright and cheerful memories for my old age. ;)

I am tired of struggling trying to make things happen that the season has passed for me. I am ready for the peaceful flow of being creative and living an abundant, fun life.

I have learned that we cannot force things to happen that aren’t meant to be. We are responsible for our own lives. We create our heaven or hell here on Earth. We can only adapt and take excellent care of ourselves and those we love.

on the mortgage lending industry as a career option for me.

I quit!!!

are the professions most of the people closest to me have said I would be ideally suited to be for my life’s work.

At one point or another in my life I have wanted to be both…leaning towards a human rights activist lawyer… any surprise?

Are we ever too old to follow our dreams? Which would I be better suited to do today?

What if I live another 30 years?

It has been a really rough month for me losing my job right before Christmas.

One bright thing that happened was I won a $100 gift certificate to any merchant in town at an open house for the Chamber of Commerce. Part of me thinks I should spend it on gifts and part of me thinks I should pamper myself with a haircut, pedicure, etc. or maybe buy a ski jacket.

My natural tendency is to put myself last. That would mean the gift buying spree.

But for the new year I am putting myself first for a change.Hope this uneasy feeling fades soon.

This has been my goal for months now. The timing is off a little but we’ll see how things progress. It was a financially challenged holiday. But in the grand scheme of things I am fairly well off. People have rallied to help me.

Asking for and /or receiving help has always been very difficult for me to do. More times than not I have told someone I was fine when I wasn’t or declined their offer to help when I needed it.

Maybe that is the lesson I have finally learned so I can move on to the next phase of my life.

A light bulb went off while I was reading my goals and entries here on 43 T. It has been as plain as the nose on my face that I have been preparing for a major change for the past 2 years.

My creative goals have stayed consistently the same in one form or another. I have been fighting myself over things I haven’t cared about for years. I was more afraid of not being who others thought I was instead of gracefully transforming into who I truly am.

That’s what caused the paralysis and fear. Truth be told no one knows us better than ourselves. In the big picture it just doesn’t matter what others think…it’s what you envision your life to be like that is important.

and now no income getting laid off 2 weeks before Christmas alone here in the wilderness far away from home.
Happy Holidays to me.

How do I find these guys to work for??? Oh, wait a minute my brother found me this one. Three years ago I was let go because I got sick by the same type of guy.

Is it my imagination or are people just so plainly selfish they can’t see how they hurt others? Or don’t they even care?

I have been searching for myself. The brain tumor made me a totally different person than my natural self. It altered my thoughts and actions for years before they found it.

It seems my move to the wilderness has sparked some of my natural self to reappear. It’s nice to be back home again in more ways than one.